I just need to get all this bullshit out, Please comment I need responses.
I am a Somalian, my mum worked so hard to give me and my 2 sisters everything, she is a great woman, she used to carry us in one of those bikes with a basket when we were babies, she didn't have a car, people used to throw abuse at her, I love my mum so much I would die for her, but she doesn't think that :( They are not only words.
my family is all I needed. My mum recently got together with a rich white man. We moved to a nice big house, nice cars.
At my high school people always take the piss because my mum married him, she says she loves him, but its weird, I always think she did it only for the money, so we could have a better standard of living, so that me and my siblings could be happy, I feel so guilty.
I don't get out much, my "close" friends (lol) barely talk to me, I stay at home 90% of the time, only going out for groceries or some form of clothes shopping, the only reason I have any friends is because of school, if there was no school I would never meet any1 or gain any skills.
Now my cousins from somalia, there mum died, they have lived in somalia all there lives, (no technology etc etc) so now they have to come live with us, fresh Somalians, they will be fascinated with all the technology etc and people will mock them, I can't say this to any1 because they will think I am a selfish bastard, but it is the ugly truth. They will never live happily or integrate well into British society and will live on some for of benefits in a shit hole somewhere and it will be my responsibility to look after them when my parents grow old!
Moreover I'm now in my last year of high school, underachieving and I met this girl I REALLY like though she is polish, and I am Somalian which is really weird because two of these ethnic minorities people will laugh so much at the though of this Somalian + Polish, not even in 2010, the St century is that even thinkable in this modern age.
I have never even been looked at by a girl lustfully, I dream of having a girl that loves me, But I am fuck ugly, a lil fat & somalian - nobody likes somalian men, huge foreheads, shitty lips etc. Up until this generation no somalians even dare to go out with any1 who isn't a somalian, I do not know ANY somalian boy with any girlfriends. usually somalian marriages are set up - they dont go out on dates and shit! so what hope do I have! fat, smelly, no talent and somalian NO WOMAN would EVER even think of me in a sexual way. I am socially Inept, awkward with no charisma (as you have probably gathered) I have nothing to offer any1, I feel as if I will NEVER be happy, but I can never talk to any1 about this because they will think I am pathetic because my situation isn't so bad, isnt the EXTREME like some form of fucking famine or war or rape or some bullshit, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF PEOPLE SAYING "What about those poor people in africa" I DON't CARE ABOUT THEM, WHAT ABOUT ME, NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME, I know its selfish BUT FOR ONCE I WISH I COULD FUCKING WIN, BE SUCCESFUL, AND LOVED.