4 weeks exactly before Christmas day and my husband of 10 years tells me he has been unhappy with our lives for years and has repressed his feelings to a point that he no longer loves me and he has found another woman (3 months ago) that he thinks he wants to 'start a new life with'. i loved and trusted this man with my whole heart and soul and i had no idea. yes i realize how ridiculous it sounds but he's a good actor and he is a good father to our 2 young children. those wonderful children are the only things keeping me going. me, being the ever faithful ridiculous wife, suggested we see a therapist and see if we can work on the relationship because we never even gave it a try because he never opened his big mouth to say anything was wrong. he just doesn't know. he just wants to run away with this homewrecking woman - who also has a husband and 2 children - and he knows what a horrible thing that would be for our family. so he can't decide.
now here i sit with my 2 young children, two weeks before Chrismas, crying all the time. i saw a therapist today but she can't make him say what i want to hear - which is "i was an asshole and i'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me? i want to start again and re-connect and i want to love you for the rest of my life."
my life sucks because my husband is a sucky husband