well i'm 15 years old, shy, stupid, lonely. the only friends i have are the ones who manage to make me smile! im a bi sexual but they dont know that, i live in one of the worst areas ever! my friends want me to invite them over and i make crappy excuses like, "im having work done at my house and its hazardous".everyday i wake up my life gets worser everyday, and then by monday its good again, and it gets crapper by friday! i wake up, get changed for school, eat, brush my teeth, slap on a tiny bit of foundation to hide my spots, add some spot cream, slap on some gel to look decent, and my mum drops me off to school! i get out the car, and walk alone up to my classroom. i sit next to a guy called tom which i only hardly speak to, we have the odd "Hey" and thats it, at 9:15 the bell rings so i have to walk to my next lesson, ALONE of course! i sit through lessons listening but it goes through one ear and straight out the other, i see my friends at break time and i stand there quietly whilst they blabber on about the ps3, oh yeah which reminds me.... i have no life, i come home, i am never bothered about homework, i just go home and sit on the ps3 for 2 hours, then get off and eat, then go on the laptop until 9pm and i go shower. then i just get my ass in bed, think about my shitty life and then sleep. i am miserable, people say im funny when im clearly not, i hate the way i look and sometimes when i come home after a really bad day, i lie on my bed and cry for a minute. i am a pure wreck and i swear at life. i speak to god and i mutter under my breath and ask god why my life is so shit!! and what i have done to god??? i just sit around on youtube and facebook talking to classmates which i dont even say a word to at school. my friends sometimes dont even talk to me all day so i sit in the library on my own catching up with my missed out homework. i have given up completely on life. i am at the end of my rope and i really dont want to live another year. if it gets worser than this... i'm going to have to kiss the world good bye and hang myself. it will be better than crying tears over my life and hurting my heart, its unbearable and i hope someone who cares about me, comes across this and discoveres that there are individuals on this planet who wonder why they live to see another day. | |
You will have loads of fun
School was hard, no real friends, life sucked .... but I just knew it would get better. I was talented, (even won the lead role in a play in the fifth grade, "Annie". and I could draw well.
I was ugly, fat, basically gay, though I liked girls. I grew up, I survived. I married, a girl, even though physically seemingly too small to have sex with a female, I have a son. The marriage didn't last, but I learned a little more about myself. I still on occasion, look for men for sex, looking for something that women can't give me, but I learn from those acts as well.
I am now 60, like the ugly duckling, women now tell me I am cute, even women much younger than me. I am an artist, and a published poet. Life isn't perfect, but it is worth hanging around to see what happens next. Don't give up .... Life is worth living, if for nothing else, to see what is around the next corner .... eventually it will go your way .... and you will think, yes, it has all been worth while.
You are not you job.
You are not your educational degree.
You are not your sexual preference.
You are just another person, just stop all the phony labels already and you will be much happier in life.
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