As long as I can remember my life has sucked. Growing up my family was poor, so we always lived in shitty neighborhoods. I was typically the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid in the entire school system, and had to fight daily just to get an education. I've been cut, stabbed, beaten by mobs, shot at, and almost killed on several ocassions. I'm a survivor though, and all it did was make me hard and cold inside and devoid of any feelings of joy.
By the time we finally moved out of the cesspools of innercity life, I was mentally a pretty fucked up individual. I hated myself and everyone around me. I would fight at the drop of a hat, and trusted no one aside my family. I longed for someone to end my suffering.
After the move, I tried my best to become a different person, but it was too late. You can't change a lifetime of hate, violence, and low self-esteem by geographical relocation. I was antisocial to the extreme, and it always seemed to shine through no matter how hard I tried to act like everyone else.
I finished high school, completed college, got a decent job, and married a really nice girl, but unfortunately none of these things made me feel better about myself. I still feel like a complete failure as a person despite these achievements. When things are going good for me, I always seem to screw them up. I guess being happy and successful is a frightening concept to me subconsciously. I've known nothing but misery most of my life, and I don't have the courage to live otherwise now.
No, I'm not homeless, starving, or incarcerated. So I guess I should be grateful, but I'm not. Nothing makes me happy anymore, and I truly wish I were dead. Material things mean nothing if you hate yourself and everything around you. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
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and if you do have kids now your life is all about them .. make them happy..
and if u dont have kids... kill yourself you miserable piece of shit.. others would love to be in your place.. i guess you wanted to hear this thas why u posted here.. do you feel happy now? do u feel great that others' lives sucks compared to yours? TO hell with you motherfucker
You really should try not to judge another man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. They may be nice shoes, but it doesn't mean they're a good fit or comfortable. A person's past baggage can make even the most idealistic life untenable.
The purpose of my post was simply to ventilate my feeling like everyone else, not to inspire envy. There are people that live in mansions that are unhappy and others that live in boxes that are ecstatic about their lives. It's a matter of perception.
wtf whats wrong with being poor you son of a bitch.. if you cannot enjoy life with money give it to the poor who will much happier using that money you retards..
coudnt of said it better myself
and for all those retards replying why the hell are u searching these thing up?( yes i know im one to because i searched it.....)
get a new religion and god will help u
turn to islam im happy bcz im muslim
We can only see that its our life path and I find comparing my life with other 'more' fortunate peoples' is unnecessary.
If you think you had a really bad life, and since you had experience all the worst things, use those experience and help someone,etc your kid or any people. Help them by giving advices and supporting them so they dont have to go through a similar ordeal.
Trust me, you will gain happiness from it.
You may contact me privately at contactme(@)zackng.com
I was born in a loving family with great parents.
My parents are old fashioned and wouldn't let me
go out or even socialise with friends and year went by where my friends lost interest, My gf thinks am gay because I don't ever go out or even have time to see her now am working in a restaurant which I go early and come back home at midnight. I can't find another job as it is so hard to find.
I have no freedom or even the will to enjoy my best friend is a computer which I play the same game over and over again.
if I had spent time out befor I think my mind would be alot fresher
I think I am falling towards depression.
I Haven't talked to anybody and don't think I will.
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