Its that time of the year, where giving out gifts or getting them comes into play. I'm doing neither. I don't have the money or ability. It wouldn't bother me so much if I had a close family. For the first time in my life, I can say, I really don't know. I don't know what is instored for me. Life would easier if I just gave it all up. By taking my life, killing myself someway. You know, I called one of those "Suicidal" hotlines tonight. Hoping to get some clarity. The only thing she offered me were a few warm words coming from a good place. I started to think, she has to love her good place. Her job is to help people like me. It must be boring and sometimes fun, depending on the client. I could tell by the stress in her voice, I was boring her.
I've had it all. A great job, great money, all kinds of stuff. Now, I've hit rock bottom. When I thought it couldnt get any worse. Suprise! It does! It couldnt happen in a better month than, gift giving December. Wish someone would give me a gift, to get my car out of lock up. I live in a town where if you don't have a car, your done. You can't do or go anywhere. I'm stuck at home with no love, no friends, no money, no family. My car was taken because I bumped someone earlier that day and left the scene. I didn't think was that serious but obivously it was. 2 weeks before that, I was put in jail for the first time in my life. The cop charged me for a DUI. Earlier that evening, I went to a dinner party and had some very good red wine. I refused the breathlyzer test because I wasn't sure if I would pass it. Hence, jail time! I know that it's hard for a lot of people not just me but all I asking for is some guidance, some help. I've put in countless job applications and submitted tons of resumes. Not one call. Help doesn't like me. Lately, my closest friend has been misery and her cousin depression. | |
New Comment