I always saying to my self and to others that everything gonna be ok... things gonna change for the better... now i just cant believe that anymore... I believe that we must fight for what we want but come on... I know i ll never gonna be rich and give to the ppl I love everything they want... i just wish for a better life ,not rich life but more safe that we are now...
I Mean we all have one problem...its called money...
my mun has to do all these exams about everything... need to go to so many doctors but we cant afford about 100 euros in every one...
i was working for 6 months so i will pay for my school and not my parents so i could confort them but things are so fucked up....
My dad is working in 2 jobs, he is barely home and he doesnt pay well... i have a little sister and that means a lot of money and my mun she has to many problems with her healtth...
I am so LOST...
I dont KNOW what to do anymore...
I believe in God but i cant leave all my hopes to Him cause we came to this world to fight on our own... to show what we deserve.... but im so Confused to what to do...
im fighting with my exams, i m still working and i barely have time...
I want to fight and not give up but sometimes i think ...why am I doing all these... why am I fighting for???
I know many of u have many or worst problems and I feel sorry for u... i just wanted to share this with someone...
bye... | |
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I got laid off from a very good job back in August. I am still pissed about it VERY, VERY much. When i found out i was going to be out of the job, i threw fits, i cried, i wished myself to die and wondered why it had to be me. I liked this job very much, it fit me in nearly every way and i hated that i was force to let go of it. i couldnt imagine settling for something else becuase i knew i would be miserable again. Its now December and i have still not yet found a job. I went to THREE interviews for ONE store and they have not called me. so i feel like i did all the effort and time for nothing. i feel like they wasted my time, thats the annoying part about it. I have filled out dozens and dozens of applications but its like the world is ignoring me.
My financial aid didnt pull through this semester becuase i made a mistake on one of the questions as i was filling out an application to renew my loans, so i'm not even a part-time student now. i couldnt afford the three classes that i was going to take becuase my books (not even all three of them) were over $400 and thats all i had in the bank since i was laid off, plus i had doctors bills coming in at $465 $292 bascially three digit bills and i was going nuts. so i had to drop two of my classes so i could get that refund back and have some money for these extra bills, but then i found myself in another bad situation. since i only have ONE class this semster, my lender of my financial aid has decided to bill me now. I wanted to just go ahead and take a razor and just slit my wrist.
I worry about my parents too. when i got my refund i gave $300 of that to my parents so they can get out of debt, i gave the rest to doctor bills. My mom's job cut her out of one day since she normally works 5 days a week becuase they are trying to hold back on laying people off. mom goes to work everyday worrying if she'll be laid off. my dad actually has TONS of chances to do overtime. he shared with us one time that a guy he worked with works every chance he gets and his paycheck ends up being $3000!!!! that sounds great doesnt it? especially since they pay their workers 13 to 16 bucks an hour. if only my dad would do that but he chooses not to, which is making my mom thinking about getting another side job just to make ends meet.
I HATE the very fact that my parents get up in the mornings and work. i hate having the bill collectors call the house more than 5 times a day. i hate hearing them say they don't have money yet or can't afford gas for the car or we have to wait another week for the next paycheck to go grocery shopping. I hate that the lights and water turn off becuase the bill is late. i HATE it!!
THe part where you say you'll never get rich, well you don't know that. you don't know the plans that God has for you. he knows your heart and desires. like for example, i want to be a fashion designer one day, and i want to be so successful that i want to put my parents in early retirement, buy them a house and have them to never work another day in their life ever again, becuase thats how much i hate them working their butts off and sacrificing so much. so one day i heard mom in the car worrying about her and my dad's retirment plan becuase they will turn 50 in a few years soon and they are so tight on money. my heart broke inside to hear this but then there was a little voice that told me "Why are you worried? i thought you were going to take care of this when you be a fashion designer, right?" Its like God was tugging me to just relax becuase i tell my desires to him EVERY SINGLE day and i pray to him everyday reminding him that this is what i want. I can't give it to them now but i hope that i can later on in my life.
SO just do the same thing. Stick with God, talk to him, grow closer to Him.
Its just as a kid i though my parents could do anything and things like magically would turned out different... i know thats not true and my parents cand do better than that..
my mun one day was telling me the problems we have and i soooooooo wanted to start cry...i dont want them to panic about the future we gonna have... thay are so afraid... and thats terrifieds me becouse if my 2 heroes are afraid what i am gonna do???
But yea like i said, just keep praying, stay as close as you can to God.
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