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Whoa, whoa...

Posted by asdf at January 5, 2011
Tags: 2011 January  Loneliness  Unemployment

I just fucking hate being alive... Seriously, you can't find a single thing that is right or happy in my life. My parents appear to think that I'm a bit strange, but alright... Well, I am not. Why? Because I am 21 years old, but I still live with parents. I don't have a car, money, house/apartment or even a chance to get those things. Today I had to realize that I'm not going to be accepted to university either, despite the fact that I am usually marked as "smart" and "intelligent" by other people. My parents gave me an ultimatum to find a job in less than two weeks, otherwise I'm no longer welcome in their house... That's gonna be an easy task with the unemployment rate of 15%, isn't it?
I believe that my life would be better if it didn't lack love and intimacy. But, of course, I am not handsome, not at all... Girls seem to dodge me. I have never kissed anyone. And, as I'm getting older, my expectations also seem to increase... so basically there is no chance for me to ever find a girl.
I have read a lot about religions, thinking that they might change my life, or at least make it more livable. This might also be a problem with my personality, but I cannot truly believe in something I never experienced. I am not an atheist, but I can't be a believer.
I wish my life would end... but it doesn't. The only reason that prevents me from committing suicide is my love towards my family members. I don't want to cause pain to them with my death.
I am aware that no one ever reads these stories, but it felt good to write this stuff down. Excuse me for my poor English, it's not my native language.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Why Me! May 26, 2011
untitled story April 12, 2010



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Comments:
By anonymous at 25,Jan,11 07:34

You should watch the video link below. It changed the way I look at things and I still think life stinks, but it at least gave me comfort to know there is something more than this life.
http://www.moviewatch.in/external.php?Beyond+and+Back&url=aHR0cDovL3ZpZGVvLmdvb2dsZS5jb20vdmlkZW9wbGF5P2RvY2lkPS01ODkwMzc1MDIzNjM3MDkwNjcj&domain=Z29vZ2xlLmNvbQ==&loggedin=1


By anonymous at 26,Jan,11 20:06

man i can relate to what you are feeling. oh the hopelessness of existing.


By anonymous at 28,Jan,11 22:14

Dear asdf,
Im sure you've heard this a million times but the only way to love someone else is to love yourself. You shouldn't seek out a girlfriend, just do the things you love and interact with people, you may find someone in the process of completing your endeavors. Life isn't about having lovers or more specifically a girlfriend. When you feel like you need someone to be happy when you finally get someone you won't achieve happiness and will eventually break up or have a rocky relationship. But when you love yourself it attracts women. I'm nit saying that you'll find someone tomorrow or next year but you will find someone eventually Who you can relate to' and have a meaningful relationship, " the best things are worth waiting for" another cliche I know. Another thing i'd like to add is that religion is a spiritual medium. Therefore you don't necessarily need religion but you should be in touch with yourself spiritually. After all what is the use of knowing a bible through and through if you do not know yourself through and through. But by no means am I trying to discredit religion, in fact religion is a perfect way to get in touch with yourself, as is meditation. As for the job thing, I really wish I was a billionaire who could hire people on the spot, but keep a positive outlook for life I'd much more than what it seems
Aldrich


By anonymous at 30,Jan,11 14:55

Aldrich comments are not really true... well maybe they are but they don't help. Humans are social creatures. So if you have been isolated, well you are sort of f---ed. Sorry. That is the way of the world. If it makes you feel any better, I am in a similar situation. So there are other people with similar pain, but trust me... you are alone.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,11 01:26

I am not alone though I have felt lonely most of my life. there is a life out there its a matter of research and searching and finding an interest, join in groups with like minded people try many things
some people are not worth knowing though you will eventually find a soul mate just to let you know there are alot of lonely people out there looking for a freind in you too


By anonymous at 19,Feb,11 23:14

Did it ever occur to you that your expectations are getting higher with women because you are unconsciously avoiding the possibility of a relationship? If you set your ideal so high as to be unachievable, then you never have to worry about getting close to anyone.

And it is a hard economy, but everyone is dealing with it. Pick yourself up, give yourself a slap on the ass, quit whining and go get a job. No one is going to hire someone who is so negative.


By anonymous at 26,Feb,11 17:33

Have you considered joining the military? It's a steady job, and it might help you get a little bit of confidence. It helped me, and i was in a similar situation. Though it still hasn't helped my love life. Think about it.


By anonymous at 08,Mar,11 21:13

join air force trust me you ll be perfect


By Adobe OEM Software at 09,Mar,12 02:01

1TQpc2 Great, thanks for sharing this article post. Will read on...


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