I'm 24 years old,male, almost 25(in a few months),i graduated from high school 6 years ago(barely graduated) and i haven't accomplished a single significant thing in my life so far, i'm stuck living at my mothers house,i feel guilty because she's retired and living on her small pension payments(which may or may not get smaller, depending on the economy) and my sister's disability benefits(she also lives there), they both struggle to pay the bills and pay for food and i can't contribute much,i work at a fast food place, off and on, because i can't stomach being there,wearing the uniform and doing slave labor for 7 dollars and 25 cents an hour,i guess i'm being unreasonable, theres nothing wrong with working there really, it's just not for me and my future(if i have one).i haven't even been to college/university, frankly it's my own fault, i've been paralyzed by fear which has prevented me from even trying to seek a better life(i've thrown away opportunities,i'm sure we all do sometimes)(fear of failure and sucess, fear of even trying, i don't know or understand myself really) I want to be an engineer and run my own engineering firm, but its just a dream, no chance of it happening,my high school grades aren't good enough to get into an engineering degree course(i'm horrible at math),which is sort of a necessity, it's near impossible to get an engineering job and experience without a eng degree, even if i did get into one i doubt i could work full time and go to class, the schedule wouldn't work(i couldn't work enough hours to make the money i need), part time classes are sparse,i looked into online universities, but there aren't many accredited engineering courses i qualify for, i don't know what else to do. i just wish i had the character to deal with all this. sadly, i don't. i'm done whining. goodbye.
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"i've been paralyzed by fear which has prevented me from even trying to seek a better life" That is a problem. I have encountered situations in life where courage was the only way out. I was mountain climbing last summer when a climber on the adjoining peak had a huge boulder rolling out of control towards him. All the people on my side of the peak were screaming at him to move, but he was just paralyzed with fear at the rock raced towards him. The rock missed him by a few feet and then he moved away. As you face fear, you find out that when you show courage, your become braver as life goes on. Just do not do anything foolish or unnecessarily risky.
Math was always easy for me, arithmetic, geometry, trigonometry, calculus and many others. The lessons were challenging, as many instructors do not really know how to teach math.
A calculus teacher I had could not teach the subject because he did no really know it. I found out later, from other professors, that he memorized the teachers edition of his book before each class lesson so that he would not look foolish- the other professors thought he was a pathetic excuse for a teacher.
Get a personal tutor that you like and can teach you math.
Math is actually the easiest subject you can learn because the rules are simple, there are never any exceptions and they are perfectly logical. There are many self taught books for math out there.
Unlike most subjects, the harder you work in math, the better you get.
Good luck.
Right now, I am struggling to understand Lie algebra group E8
see: wikipedia.org/wiki/E8_(mathematics)
I know though that i just have to get out there. Work my way up even if i have to do any kind of study or a trade. I was thinking about plumbing. because i head they make alot of money.
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