I was in a really pissed off mood because me and my fiance got into yet another fight again. I was just on the computer trying to avoid him and typed "my life fucking sucks" into the search engine. I hit enter and this site popped up. I read some of the "stories" on here and some of them just sound like people bitching about nothing. I mean i'm sorry for saying that it's just i've heard worse. But i guess it makes people feel good to get their feelings out. Bottled up emotions are not something to take lightly, trust me, i know from personal experience. So i'm going to give it a shot and tell me story. First and foremost, I do not think that life sucks or that my life sucks, just get tired of bullshit from time to time. Okay well I grew up a pretty normal kid. I grew up in California and was pretty smart for my age and mature. Not in that way. By the time I was in fifth grade, I had a wierd obsession with greek mythology, foreign languages, I was studying different religions because i questioned christianity, and i wanted to be an archeologist. I played the clarient and the saxophone, but wanted to play the bass guitar. Well then the summer before 7th grade, I found out that I was going to be moving across the country to Alabama because my grandmother left my grandpa for another man. The man lived in alabama so she wanted us to go with her to live here. Well we did....psshhh....I started seventh grade and hated it. I have never met so many rich, snobby, racist, discrimanatory people in my entire life. I was pretty popular. At first it was only because i was from California, but then it was cause of sports. I loved playing. I was a softball player, a volleyball player, and a basketball player, but that didn't last long cause i didn't get along with one of those snobby ass brats. Anyway it was pretty good up until high school. Thats when shit went south. In 9th grade, I was just turning 15 years old and was already a pothead, a cocaine addict, I was addicted to cutting myself and i had already experimented with shooting up cocaine. I didn't cut myself because i wanted to die, i just liked the way it felt. Well one day i cut a little too deep and had to get 12 staples put in my wrist. The day i got shot up with coke i was so fucked up i didn't really know what was going on until my head started spinning and the people that shot me up left me at the end of my driveway and took off. I then got arrested because an exboyfriend of mine burnt up some houses and I was arrested for 2 counts of arson, trespassing, and all this shit but couldn't afford a lawyer so i got convicted and sent to Chalkville in Birmingham. I was sentenced to the CAP prgram which a rehabilitation program. I got out and was sober for 2 years until i picked up smoking pot again. 2 weeks after I got off probation I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got arrested again for receiving stolen property and destroying evidence. I was probation for another 4 or 5 months. Then I got out, I got my GED and got accepted to a University. Life may seems good, but it's not. My past catches up to me alot and the person I am currently in a relationship with cannot stop holding it over my head. I moved in with him because my sibling is diagnosed with Boderline Personality Disorder and she lashes out on me and I couldn't take it no more. He has a very weird sense of humor and sometimes it pisses me off. Him and his friends sometimes joke about sex and rape gets brought up. I have been a vicitm, but I guess the good part of that is I was out cause I had took some xanax bars, so I don't really remember all of it. But I do remember getting called a liar. Which happend before when one of my PE teachers tried harassing me and no one believed me until the bastard got arrested for molesting a little kid. But he's always accusing me of cheating on him. When he's at work he takes our phone with him and if I don't happen to catch him txting my yahoo messenger, i'm cheating. If i'm here with his sister and her boyfriend and his sister n law and his sister leaves to go to work i'm cheating on him with his sisters boyfriend even though I'm locked in my room trying to do my school work. Its an everyday thing and he's always calling me names. For some reason I have this belief that someday he's going to trust me. I mean we have our good days and they r great, but the other days are horrible. But I still don't think my life sucks. I think life is what you make it and i mean I can probably make myself happier if I left him and lived my own life, but i love this man even with is faults and he has had rough past relationships with women, and I did used to a cocaine addict and was a rape victim, but i don't let any of that get to me. It just seems like some of the stories on here are from kids who can't get there way or husbands who can't stand up to their wives. Maybe i should read more posts, but i certainly hope that those people's i read think their lives were worse than people like me. Hell, there's people out there who have had thousands of times worse lives then mine and still make the best out of it and don't whine about. Just remember there's always someone out there that has it worse than you do.