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i don't get it :S

Posted by Renee .. at February 19, 2011
Tags: Abuse  Family  2011 February  Poverty

ok well i dunno how to start this so yeah.
i grew up physically and mentally and sexually abused by my dad untill i was 13 when my mum finally kicked him out of our house.
i was bullied since then.
i am now 15 turning 16 this year, we live in poverty, we trick the electritian guy into not cutting our power off even tho we never pay the bills cos we can't afford them.
we are struggling to pay rent and i think we might be on the streets soon.
i live at home with my 13 year old sister and my mum.
she neglects me and my sister and litterly never talks to us.
i quit school at 14.
i have asthma which is quite bad cos my mum smokes cigerettes in the house, which has made me go to hospital alot cos i have asthma attacks.
i have anger problems, deppression, and severe anxiety. and i think i might have adhd.
my mum smokes marijuana in the house as well.
she neglects me and my sister and i've contemplated suicide too many times to count. i've also tried killing myself by smashing my head against the didn't work.
i did it infront of my mum and she didn't even care.
i still don't go to school even tho its illegal not to.
mum never buys us food, we've been living off food stamps our hole lifes, we get new clothes twice a year at the most.
when we do, its from the op shops.
our house is unclean and unhealthy and we get sick alot, my mum doesn't do anything about it.
what really hurts me is that she DOES work, but she spends all her money on drugs.
all i normally eat is bread.
i think she is selfish and i dont know how much longer i can live like this, and why God hasn't helped my life get better yet.
theres alot more about my life i could right about but its too deppressing.
thanks for reading. x


New Comment

By anonymous at 13,Mar,11 15:00

i am your age
u are going to have to decide if u want to have a mother and live the way you are or get a decent life
ALSO GET AN EDUCATION im 15 and im telling you this IT WILL MATER
dont get hooked on drugs or alcohol that shit will mess you up
REMEMBER someone does need you out there
dont try suiside it wont do u any good
take the situation in you own hands and just get out with your sis

By anonymous at 13,Mar,11 18:53

you got a computer with internet though?

By anonymous at 14,Mar,11 03:28

never give up so easily!

By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 16:33

GET AN EDUCATION. you are the ONLY one you can depend on, and thats going to save you.

From poverty, drugs, sex abuse, death. Its going to get you out of that situation.
By anonymous at 10,May,11 15:15

YES! Not to mention that in school you will be fed. Breakfast and lunch would be free for you and your sibling.

By anonymous at 26,Mar,11 23:43

can you call some type of child protective service or government agency to report your mom "anonymously" In the U.S. at least you will get food and if you are in protective services you qualify for special scholarships to go to college. You must take initiative and find a mentor (big brother or big sister program.) My mom was an alcoholic now I'm 32. You have been through more then me but I am confident that if you get away from the environment you will start feeling better. After leaving my mom's house college allowed me to travel to different countries, be happy for a moment.... Please don't give up if I could be your age again I would have made better choices. What ever you do try to be celibate. I wanted a companion, a friend so I got married and had a baby. I love my baby but I wish I wouldv'e waited until I had a bigger savings account. I hope this helps. please post I am willing to help you via this site. I finished my undergraduate studies with honors and completed graduate school. Inspite living around crazy drug addict and alcoholic relatives; I have never done drugs. You can make it please hold on if not for yourself think of your sibling.

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