it sucks because i dont seem to have any friends, i am weird by nature thoughtful deep interested in stuff no one else is and people just come out and say ohh u r so weird. and that is not even the worst part. the worst part is when ur best friends or the people you care for most in the world change their friendship with you, find new friends and because their new friends arent so weird, they forget all about you. like today! i was at my best friends sisters wedding but since weddings are just not something i am passionate about, my friend seemed to forget all about me, she kept talking to our other friend like i dint even exist. it hurt.
and the part that the guy you love will never feel that way about you because face it your are too weird.
and the part that the only person who i can talk comfortably too without being scared of being judged is me myself. so it is my room ,the mirror and me and frankly this is scary because i dont want to end up like that.
i hate it when i help people solve their problems, and in return all i get is 'but you are too weird'
and i hate it because if only weird could be equivalent to being really really smart and successful but it is not. it is okayish my level of however i m going.
and it hurts because all those times i have to pretend i like normalish things, and talk about normal stuff to people just so i can blend in with them and wat the hell no one else has to make that effort. no one else gets laughed at or ignored. no one else has to keep a pretentious smile on their faces all the time just so that it will look like they are interested in whatever is going on.
my worst fear is i wont find a guy capable of accepting and understanding my weirdness, and that i ll end up marrying fakeness. honestly i dont want to be fake in my own home. | |
BYE
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