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Something has got to give...

Posted by anonymous at February 22, 2011
Tags: Attitude  2011 February  Loneliness  Mistakes

I'm stuck in a rut. I've spent the last 15 years training to be something I really don't care about or want to do anymore. Sure it was fun and challenging getting those various advanced degrees, but in the end, it just wasn't worth it. What a waste of time. What a waste of my life.

If only I enjoyed what I'm doing right now, the sacrifices (personal relationships, monetary) would have been worth it. Now, at 34, I'm alone, mediocre, and doing something that I don't believe in. I have no family, few to no friends, little to no chances at improving this situation if I stay like this. I'm just getting by, but barely.

I'm tired of being something that I'm not. I'm tired of not believing in myself and having no confidence. I'm tired of not going for what I really want in life. I realize that although I'm still relatively young, life is starting to pass me by faster than ever. I'm tired of not having the courage to just risk it all and go for broke. There's nothing holding me back but myself. I wish I was stronger, I wish I could just act.

I really have nothing to lose anymore. I don't want to quit life. I don't want to give up on myself. I just want to quit the life I currently have now. I just want to give up who I'm trying to be, and be the real me.

My current life does suck. To me at least.

But I've got to keep fighting.



Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 16,Mar,11 05:35

carry on my friends


By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 03:59

Most of us are in the same boat. Peace.


By anonymous at 12,Apr,11 06:27

Really go for it the last thing you want in life it to be dying one day and say I wasted it all. All my ife is gone and I didn't have courage. Go for it Fuck living a lie decied what you want out of life and do that shit!
NO REGRETS!
ONLY LOOK FORWARD!
By anonymous at 29,Jul,11 19:12

Good advice


By anonymous at 29,Jul,11 19:17

I hope things are better for you. Do you. It's hard to start over. Take baby steps to what you want to be. If you can integrate what you already do into what you love, do it. I'm in the same spot. I'm having a mid life crisis. I've decided I might cut my hair short and color it blond. Just whatever is ok , and makes you feel alive. Carpe Diem!


By anonymous at 30,Sep,11 01:04

I'm 37, no children & no friends & relatives... Devoted all my time to school. & ur right it doesnt seem worth it. BUT life CAN be a beautiful adventure. Figure out 1 thing u would like to do & GO DO IT! Not something you 'have to do' , something U WANT 2 do. You never know who u might meet when ur having fun.


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