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my hopeless life...

Posted by ........................... at December 25, 2009
Tags: Independent circumstances  December 2009  Juvenile problems

im a 14 year old girl...
im always depressed , even though there are so many reasons that could be root of my so called depression , i feel like im depressed without a reason...
when i was 7,8 years old my parents decided to move , so we moved from denamrk to iran , and as a child it was hard for me to leave my friends and school behind and start over... the first 5 years in denmark i couldnt stop begging my parents to move back to denmark but my words didnt mean anything to them... the last year in denmark i finally found the way to get friends and have fun in a country like iran... so my parents didnt hear me say anything about denmark the last year in iran... the year before my sister sended an application to denmarks university to study dentistry ,so she got it, and just like always she was in the spot light of the whole family... but me eventhough i was the third best student in school i was never in the spotlight becouse my sister always succeded in something waaaaaay better... but whatever i have to admit she is better than me (in everything) and i love her no matter what... so my parents didnt want her to be alone in denmark, so me and my brother and parents had to move too... eventhough i begged 5 years but i really didnt want to move becouse i found friends and happiness after 5 years... i tryed to stop them but i think they didnt count me as a person in the family. so now im sitting here its december 25th and its day 96... i left my friends my school my boyfriend my great life behind and im going through the same things i went through the past years... my friends doesnt seem to care about me anymore, and they honestly dont understand what im going through... nobody does... nobody cares... and everytime i try to talk with someone they comeup with something like this : ur sooooo not feeling good! or stop saying meaningless stuff , get a life dude, put youre self together, what the fuck are you saying???, most of all " youre living a lie"
they honestly dont understand and by saying this they really make me feel like a lie...
ive started a new school , first they putted me in 7th grade becouse they said my danish wasnt good enough to start in 8th grade. i felt horrible, so i thought maybe this is the root of my depression and if i get into 8th grade ill feel better, so i started arguing with the school to put me in 8th grade, and they let me start in 8th grade after the christmas holidays but... i still feel horrible... and ive even hurt myself really obviouse on my arm but no one in my family saw it... and when i was 12/13 i hurt my self on my my body , and it was like i was addicted to it so i did it several times, but then i stopped but now ive started again... and i broke my promis to god and my best friend... i know if i tell her she doesnt want to be friends with me anymore...
my storys not as bad as the others... but i have lost everything... my whole life... the happiness i felt for the first time in 5 years... im hopeless, worthless... everyone has forgotten about me...
im jelouse of everyone in the whole world... im jelouse of everyone becouse tehy are pretty , good looking, and they always get what they want, and most of all THEY ARE HAPPY.... my sister has a diamond watch , a necklace of her name out of gold and the dot above the i is made of diamonds , she has a cellphone that everyone wants , she has 2 ipods but i took one of them , she gets EVERYTHING SHE WANTS , shes soooo fucking happy and my parents say that she has been through something worse than ive been going through inly becouse she moved from denmark to iran when she was 14 and she is stronger than me..... I HATE LIFE!
( sorry if there were some wrong spellings )


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Alone, broke and hopeless for the holidays December 18, 2011
Hopeless February 2, 2010
I feel so hopeless and dont deserve to live March 21, 2012
is this it May 23, 2010
Hopelessness February 4, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 26,Dec,09 16:45

show what u got...study harder so some day u will leave home and go to college...faraway from your family and siblings...to begin again...a new life...


By anonymous at 10,Jan,10 16:59

bitch at your parents


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