Life hade been good with me. I thought my future would be bright when I got scholarship to study in Japan. I just felt depressed when writing my master thesis. The doctor dianogized me that I got szycophrenia. I had been hospitalized and dropped out of gradate school. I thought I had lost all my friends who used to have fun with me. Actually, I recovered when I came back to my country and I got my dream job in international development at Room to Read. I love the job so much and I made a lot of friends. Just one day, it changed my life foreover, on that day, I had a small arguement with my supervisor. I suddenly thought of leaving my job. I thought I could work from home such as painting, singing or acting at Hollywood. I even thuoght that I was God. I even wanted to become a nobel prize winner in medicine or peace as I thought I could cure people with mental disease. My parents and relatives started thinking that I was crazy again, so they sent me to hospitals in Vietnam for one week. When I came back from Vietam, I got fired. At first, I felt ok because I thought I could find job at UNDP. But thing doesn't come that way, I have sent my resume to several places, but I got only one or two interview, and I don't get a job for almost 2 years. I now start thinking I am unemployed for the rest of my life. I feel ashamed to meet even my closed friends as I am over-weight, unemployed, and depressed. In deed, I cry to myself. Why my life becomes like this. I used to be a fun loving person, but now everything changes. My friends never invite me to their weddeings. Yes, that's also good for me because I don't want to meet people and I am broke. I even envy my friends whose life are so happy. Why my life is in the rut?