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At the end of my rope

Posted by Ron at March 27, 2011
Tags: Job  2011 March  Meaninglessness  Poverty

Well, after much contemplation, I have decided that tonight, Sunday, March 27th, 2011, will be my final night upon this world. I'm just board with my life and see no sign of change in the future and no reason to continue. I'm 46 years old and haven't really lived at all. I've worked a meaningless job for the past 20 years that bearly just pays the bills and due to these "tough economical times" things have gotten even tighter and I fear I may lose my job this week. The water has already been turned off and I wouldn't be suprised if the power goes off while writing this. My landlord said that he's had enough of me and is looking for any excuse to evict me. Well it just so happens that I also don't have money for this months rent. So this week I shall probably lose my job and get kicked out onto the streets as well. What a joke my life is. Not that it isn't my fault. I had dreams when I was yonger but I've slowly woken up to reality. I had a good childhood but a... not bad, but just meaningless -- adulthood. I always wanted to be a writer but never got around to pinning anything down. I haven't had a real friend since high school and have never had a special lady friend. (Yes, if you must know, I am a virgin). I've never drinked or smoke or have done any drugs (accept medecations for my joints). All the fun stuff I see people doing -- I just can't get involved in. I've realized I've wasted my life, and at 46, there's not much hope of starting over. So after I submit this I am going to hang myself. Just remebmer that Ronald Joseph Evans was here.


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 05,Apr,11 10:23

I don't see your death in the obituaries, still hanging around?
By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 12:22

Beautiful...just beautiful.
By anonymous at 20,Apr,12 14:49 Fold Up

good greif


By anonymous at 05,Apr,11 16:39

You are a 46 year old virgin? Holy crap man. That alone would push me on the verge of suicide not so much the lack of a good job part. I'm sorry man. That is terrible. If you are still alive to read this, I hope you find God or some other inspiration to keep you sane. You should become either a Catholic or Buddhist monk. At least then you would have the celebacy excuse.
By anonymous at 07,Apr,11 00:39

f off ;D
By anonymous at 12,Aug,11 16:30 Fold Up

Give me a break... being 46 and still a virgin is nothing to be sad about. Obviously, this guy has high standards for a woman-- good for him. He was smart enough not to be hurt. Or maybe he just wasn't willing to take a risk. Either way, he could still find love. This is a problem which can be fixed!


By anonymous at 05,Apr,11 17:03

Good Riddance
By anonymous at 25,Oct,11 19:22

fuck u!! why do u people come here to cause trouble?? just go somewhere else.
By anonymous at 01,Mar,12 16:22 Fold Up

You are a terrible person


By at 05,Apr,11 19:01

Wow, people commenting are this are being real asses. But I don't think you should hang yourself, you should try to give life another chance. If you want to get a girlfriend, try your best to make yourself look your best, more charismatic, etc. You got to make an effort to get out there, because they aren't just going to fling themselves at you, unless you're Johnny Depp or something. I sure you're a great guy, you just need to let the women know that.

Second, try writing. Write a book, an article, poem, etc (whatever kind of writing that you're into) Try to get a job in something you enjoy. It will make going to job that much easier and more enjoyable. Its good that you haven't smoked, drank, etc because it means that you probably don't have a criminal record which will make getting a job that much easier.

Also, maybe you should try to move somewhere else in the country, or maybe even another country. There are places where people can help you get back onto your feet, help you pay the bills and all that. They could even help you buy a new house and/or a new job.

But lastly, you have to stop saying "Oh I've wasted my life," or "my life has been meaningless," etc. Its like when you go down the street, and you see three guys standing at the bus stop, and one's standing there, looking at his watch every few seconds, checking up the streets for the bus, tapping his foot, and getting angrier by the minute. But then there's the other guy, and he's just sitting there, listening to his Ipod, chatting it up with the other guy, making comments about the good weather, and taking the time to notice everything there is that is right with the world. Which would you rather be?

Basically what I'm trying to say is that you should take time to enjoy what you have, rather than what you don't have. Also, if you just sit there waiting and waiting and waiting, and not taking the time to enjoy the time between each stage in life than you're never going to enjoy yourself. Remember, in life its not about the destination, but the journey that you took to reach it.


By anonymous at 05,Apr,11 20:20

Damn, that sucks. That's all.


By at 06,Apr,11 17:32

If it weren't for prostitutes I would still be a virgin and probably continue to be for the rest of my life. I'm not 46 , I'm 24. If you really commit suicide then I wish you finally find peace after all those years of torment. I got many more tormenting years coming up :(((((((((((((
By anonymous at 08,Apr,11 06:24

Kill yourself, death is the only way to peace.
By anonymous at 09,Apr,11 01:03

f off loser ;D
By anonymous at 09,Apr,11 01:03

*not the 1st guy the kill yourself loser._.


By anonymous at 06,Apr,11 18:56

Might as well try moving somewhere else on this earth before leaving it altogether.

So your life sucks where you live now. The planet's a big place, move somewhere else and see what it's like there.

All you need to do is save up for a plane ticket, sell all your belongings, leave it all behind, and go to some foreign country.

You speak English, which is enough to get a job in a lot of countries teaching English. You'll be respected in the community and will be helping people, and while you won't make a lot by western standards you can live a comfortable life overseas. When you have what locals see as a high paying job, getting a girlfriend won't be a problem either.


By anonymous at 10,Apr,11 06:15

I really hope you DON'T commit suicide. You're exactly 19 years older then me and I'm in the same boat as you on the virgin part. I think suicide everyday. Hope you the best. If you're reading this, speak up for us. Maybe you'll be an encouragement for me to live longer.


By anonymous at 10,Apr,11 10:43

I feel bad for you dude.


By anonymous at 11,Apr,11 13:26

Dude - try to follow this advice - it is great!
>>>Might as well try moving somewhere else on this earth before leaving it altogether.

Planet is a bigger place. Anyway you have nothing to lose. Go for it!

Hope you are still reading this...


By Polly at 13,Jun,11 02:33

Thank God! Someone with brains spkeas!


By anonymous at 28,Oct,11 07:06

Go buy a 6 pack of beer, get some mary j, smoke up and enjoy at least these simple things in life before even considering dieing.
By anonymous at 14,Jul,12 05:25

Amen!


By anonymous at 29,Oct,11 00:49

I didn't see your death in the obituaries, and it's almost Halloween. I hope you're doing better, and are reaching out to find somebody.


By anonymous at 27,Nov,11 21:56

You sounds like a very special guy to not have fallen into the pit falls of drugs,sex, drinking .

So why do you make it sound like it's bad thing ?
Is doing those stuff make a person cool ?

I have more respect in someone who is not a sheep that follows the heard .

Life is more then that !
You have a gift in writing why not start writing ?
Live a simple life and not spend money f just "stuff "

God has a purpose for you do you not want to know what it is ?
Say to God .. God show me the way your will will be done . For I am not here for ,myself but to serve God in this world .

Go out and be a blessing to others and God will bless you in heaven .


By anonymous at 27,Jan,12 16:38

I hope we will meet in afterlife.


By anonymous at 23,Mar,12 20:20

sigh. don't go yet. it's not only you guys who can't find someone to connect with.


By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 23:44

Damn,that sucks.


By anonymous at 20,Apr,12 14:55

anyone know if he is still alive


By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 13:17

I feel sorry for him
I wasted my potential in my younger days as well

does anyone know if he still alive?


By Free dating sites at 04,Aug,13 14:04

Hey, I enjoy your internet site if I am sincere. Where did you get it built?


By §å§Ô§Ô§Ú §á§Ö§â§Þ§î at 10,Sep,14 05:19

Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.


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