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All Alone..

Posted by Bree at January 1, 2010
Tags: Attitude  January 2010  Juvenile problems

i dont have much to live for, but its okay because ill always have my friends.
on my 17th birthday my father kicked me out of the house, this isnt new news.. ive been in and out since i was 12.. i was homeless, but i refused to leave town becuase i thought that i had too much to leave behind. shortly after, my boyfriend of 2.5 years decided to leave me for a girl he new for a couple weeks. i was devastated. i got sick of living on the streets so i checked into a shelter.. i was supposed to be getting an apartment with my friend but the day we were supposed to get the house, and the day she got me to leave the shelter.. was the day she decided she didnt want to get a place anymore, and i couldnt afford it on my own.. so i was homeless once again. i left town, moved 3.5 hours away from home to live with the only friend that could help me.

a few months pass by, and i decided to go back to my hometown to visit everyone.. this trip cost me every penny to my name, but there are people that i loved so much that i didnt care that it made me completly broke. there are two specific friends i have that i would give anything for, my life even if it came down to it. so i stayed with one of those friends, only to get into a fight 3 days after i was there over the fact that i slammed his car door, which was an accident. he kicked me out of his place over it, so i called my other friend that ment the world to me.. she said i could stay with her.. then she ditched me at some strangers house.

i spent the night looking for somewhere to go, and found that not a single person i considered a "good friend" would even give me a place to crash for a single night. so i had to crash at the strangers house. the next morning i called everyone that ment anything to me to tell them im leaving that evening becuase i wasnt going to go through being homeless again, and i wanted to see them to say goodbye. not a single person cared, no one wanted to see me. i ended up having to call my father for the first time in 5 months and ask him to help me. i waited around all day, and only one person came to say goodbye. the very friend who kicked me out of his place. he was only there to drop off some of my stuff, and he wouldnt even stay for more than 2 minutes. and now he wont even consider me a friend..
it made me realize how little i mean to everyone.. i feel like my heart was broken all over again.. the only difference between now and when my bf left me.. is that i still had my friends to help me cope.. now i have nothing.. im all alone..
so what do you do when you find out that EVERYONE who meant everything to you, dont give a fuck for you anymore?
i dont have much to live for, in fact i cant think of anything i have to live for..


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Comments:
By anonymous at 01,Jan,10 23:49

Thats what you call fair weather friends, all your life, you may have thought they were friends, now you know, few people if any are. People always want something in return. Many women turn to prostitution. How was being homeless as a woman? I want to know because i may very well end up being homeless. Any advice on how you cope would be appreciated. thank you . Please be safe.


By anonymous at 02,Jan,10 02:08

get a job get somewhere to live go to parties... make new friends stop relying on other people to make you happy
By anonymous at 02,Jan,10 16:30

yeah, go to parties where she could get raped cuz she has no friends, great thinking pal
By anonymous at 13,Feb,10 21:21

Yeah, rape parties. People have those all the time.


By anonymous at 02,Jan,10 22:03

I know You care about people but never put them ahead of your needs. Always take care of yourself before you go out and do something very expensive. You always plan ahead. Don't do something where you only have enough for that specific thing but not have enough for other important things becuase look at where its gotten you now. Two friends who you thought were your real friends have ditched you over a door slamming by accident and ditched you at a strangers house. Those are VERY bad friends and i would cut them out of your life for good just for that.

What do I do if i find that everyone who i cared for don't care for me? I move on. Why should i spend countless time and costly energy thinking about people who are not even thinking about me? why should my life end just becuase of these heartless people? There are only a handful of people in the entire world who treat you this way. who are we to say that you won't find other good people? Maybe everything that you are going through is a test to tell you that you shouldnt trust people so easily and rely on them for every single thing. I don't know what country you live in but if youre a minor and your'e kicked out by your own guardian, i believe that's against the law. You should have went to the police or a shelter immediately, instead of sleeping on the roads trying to pass time. And youre 17 years old, what about your education? you better do something fast before you turn 18 becuase once you are that age, you are on your own, literally. (I'm guessing youre 17 i mean)

Also, maybe it's just a coincidence that you have ran into a bunch of heartless people so far, but it does seem very supicious. Don't mean to offend or anything, but maybe you should ask yourself why people are abandoning you like this. Do you act a certain way? are you too needy or clingy? are you annoying around people that they just don't want to be around you? It's just some things to think about. If you are none of those things, then realize that these people are the ones in fault. One day, they are going to need help from people and will find themselves in the same situation, or they will remember you and will feel guilty. either way, Reap what you soe gets around.

Try to get your life back together and live life for yourself. find your own happiness.


By anonymous at 02,Jan,10 23:45

You should really listen to the person who posted at 9:03
They know what there talking about
One thing you should consider is going to a social worker
I know it seems scary but they really help and if your 18 or under they could get you a half way house


By anonymous at 09,Jul,10 00:00

lets have sex


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