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Every thing is falling apart

Posted by Fuck This Gay Earth at April 5, 2011
Tags: 2011 April  Meaninglessness  Poverty  Relationship

Holy fuck, where to start? First off, my neighbors are meth-addled rednecks who are running a toxic waste dump mere feet from my house. They run junky, broken down equipment at all hours of the day and belch black fumes into my windows. There's another junkyard across the road and more meth-heads down the road. My house is falling apart, the windows leak, the floor creaks, there are silverfish and piss-ants everywhere. My stupid dogs piss all over everything and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't even move since I own the dump. I lost my job and since I'm in college now I don't have time to look for a new one.
Speaking of college, I'm a senior now. I'm not sure I'm going to get my diploma because no one ever tells me anything, I don't even know what my grades are. I'm painfully shy, entirely uninteresting, and have no self confidence. I'm 24 and I've never been on a date, had sex, or really had any kind of a relationship at all, meaningful or otherwise. I can't even fall back on my family, because most of them are dead. I've fallen in love twice, both times it's been completely unrequited because both times it turns out they were engaged to someone else. The first time didn't bother me too much. The second time was murder. Do you have any idea what its like to meet someone who's totally one of a kind, just the perfect complement and find out you'll never, ever have even the slightest chance? My whole life is completely fucking pointless, there is no meaning to anything that I do and no one will ever care about me.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 21,May,11 15:30

i care! if that helps at all :/
i don't know you at all but your tone of writing makes you sound kind of funny and likeable. idk..

By anonymous at 02,Jul,11 23:26

I know how you feel about the love turmoil. Trust me, you'd feel much worse if you had sex with them, like I did. Give your all, your body and then they just walk away from, just like that. it's so easy.
One of my good friends didn't find real love and dable in sex until 28. there will be someone who can relate to you that understands you as this website has shown me and that's the person you'll be with. Just hold on a little longer.

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