Okay....since I don't have the money to go see a shrink I will finally talk about my life on here. When I was 9 my stepfather decided to forget I was suppose to be like a daughter to him and decided I looked more like a mistress. From then until 14 I decided to hide it from my mom who was happy for the 1st time in her life. By the time I was 14 he was treating her so badly I decided there was no reason to hold on to this secret for him anymore. I told her. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE! She didn't believe me. I spent the next 4 years of my life in girls homes and lock downs. She found out the truth when I was 16 but she didn't leave him. Nor did she get me out of where I was. She left me there and went on about her life with her husband. I ran away from these places all the time trying to go back home but my mom would just send me back. On one of my ventures home, (I was 14) I was raped by 4 men. Another time I was attacked and robbed....it was hell to say the least. Then I was 18 and they couldn't hurt me anymore, right? Wrong! I fell in love with this guy and we got married and had two children. I lost my license....got put in jail for 3 months and when I got out. My husband had abandoned me and the kids to go to another woman. I can't bring myself to type any more of this nightmare but to say the least, it's just been a downward spiral since then. | |
Sigh, I'm sure it must've been hard. But you know what? What's been done is done. You have to decide for yourself. You deserve better - and you have to fight for it. You have to make it happen - get a better, happy life which you rightfully want.
Well, first thing you need to learn is to accept that even though past has been tough, you need to let it go, never look back in a way that might make you feel down. It's freaking over, you can't do anything about it. What you can do though, is manipulate the present. You have the present, do everything you can to get the life you want. Focus on your career, don't let the issue of love linger in your head, you'll meet your right guy one day, who will give you all the love you deserve. But for now, you have to focus on what you need to focus.
Work on your life - Make something happen and watch how everything starts getting better.
Finally I'd suggest start making your children geniuses, with proper posture and manners and such. Start living through them, looking for preschools early or colleges early. You might find a man through your search for the best life for your children. You might be the hottest youngest single mother on the market.
I'm really sorry to hear your story and I don't expect you to belive me but I want you to know that there are those of us out there that won't treat you like shit nor use you, we are just seriously underepresented these days. I really hope everything starts to turn around for you, you really deserve a break.
Check out joycemeyer.org
Her father raped her as a child to her teens ..
Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
And apparelty she has gotten very rich from telling those stories.
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