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creeper status

Posted by anonymous at April 19, 2011
Tags: 2011 April  Philosophical

If everyone knew who i really was...they would abandon me on the spot. If everyone knew the real me I’d probably be a dead man or...just a really hated one. first off I’m tired of all this hocus pokus bullshit about people/parents tellin ya to be yourself, standing out in the crowd, and people claiming there so “weird” and different on facebook. If people knew the meaning of that word people would not dare put up something that would bring them in the light that way because they would be jeopardizing themselves from the status quo and probably get a few deleted friends in the process of posting or acting or thinking in such a weird manner…but this isn’t about others this is about myself…the real me…I’ve kept it so far in the back of my mind from others it’s a little strange just writing it on paper…(don’t fucking ask it just sounds good ta me) if everyone knew how strongly I was attracted to little girls they would hate me big time…there’s no one way to put this I just like little girls easy as that. You know it really sucks when u find something so attractive and so beautiful and you can’t even have it as your own or express your feelings the way you want to. I remember when I was 6 and I first witnessed my mom and dad having sex…I did not see one thing wrong with it…ever since I was little I’ve known about sex and have wanted to experience it for myself…but I never have. Sucks when the only person you fucked was your 4 year old brother in the bath tub when u were 6 years old…at the time I didn’t realize it was “wrong” but don’t worry I’ve been brainwashed enough into becoming pro dominantly heterosexual (I’m not into gay sex.) lol all throughout elementary and high school I dreamed of banging my teacher….every time I heard about another teacher fucking a student I dreamed of that being me one day….i loved it so much I read a book about it…I cryed after I read the whole thing it…I thought it was just so beautiful…..I’m still a fucking virgin and it doesn’t look like things are gunna change for me….sure I was offered head from some fat chick with a pretty face but that’s not what I want….what I want is something I’ll never get and can never talk about….I’ve often fantasized about having sex with my sister, having sex with “underage” girls having sex with “trannies” ive always liked the idea of kidnapping and torture I’ve thought about just taking a gun or a knife and just slaughtering my whole family …but that’s not my style I don’t want to hurt anyone or cause anyone pain I just want to atleast express myself in some way for the most part I can’t even fucking do that. I was crucified before I got on the fucking cross…sometimes I just want to just tell everybody and get it over with…I’m tired of everything…I’m tired of being alone, I’m tired of hiding these feelings, I know there will never be rights for “pedophiles” like me, I’m the most hated type of person out there, maybe that’s why I have so much bitternes in me because no one will ever understand me. I used to watch that show “to catch a predator” every night with my sister and I laughed just like everyone else but inside I felt guilty, shame, rejection because truth is I wanted that kind of love too….i wanted to have a real loving relationsip with a girl 13-16 just like them….my own sister said to me “if i ever found out that was you I would disown you” that hurt….i could tell you my age but does that really matter? I could tell you I’m really a hebephile but that would be stating that I somehow think old guys having sex with children is wrong…which I don’t. so my life doesn’t really suck. I’m just a lame teenage virgin whose too antisocial to somehow carry on relationships with people his own age because of lack of experience so he decides to pursue the youth in the hopes of finding true love and sanity and communication rather then all the deception and materialistic bullshit of his own generation……I will never admit to my parents or anyone im a pedophile/hebephile….if I do it will be the day I take my own life in a chaotic, psychotic, very much insane fashion
That’s my story. what’s yours? ; )


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 29,Apr,11 18:26

This is extremely disturbing. Consenting sex between adults is fine (whether with trannies or men or whatever), but sex with underage chidren if you're 18 & over is disgusting and illegal. I truly hope you get some professional help (with a psychiatrist) and never act on your feelings. You're really fucked up. This is not OK. And no, nobody will accept this kind of deviant, illegal & immoral behavior so get help now before you end up in prison.


By anonymous at 29,Apr,11 23:07

YOU NEEEEED HELPP TERRIBLY. THIS IS FUCKING SICK! I CANT BELIEVE THAT U THINK IT IS OKAY... DO ME A FAVOR AND LOOK UP HOW MANY SEXUAL PREDATORS ARE SITTING IN JAIL/PRISION RIGHT NOW. AND ALSO GOTTEN THE DEATH PENALTY! YOU ARE ONE NASTTTTY MOTHER FUCKER.

GET HELP NOWW


By anonymous at 30,Apr,11 02:11

i can understand you cant control certain things. but do u really think raping a child is justified. children are in no position to say yes or no. people get scared for life. do you want to be the kind of person who ruins an innocent child's life and scars her for the rest of her life. you have to find a way to control your demons and still be happy. i know it sounds easier than done but think of so many people with physical and mental disorders they have to learn to cope with life. similarly you need to control these demons else being a good person( at least thats how you come off) the guilt of destroying a child will kill you and you would end up in prison. Get Help Immediately


By at 30,Apr,11 12:36

Like everyone else said, you need professional help. Seriously man!
You need to develop good self-control. It's probably hard, and it's pretty much guesswork for me, but I think the basic, core principle is same as quitting something like smoking, drugs, or even masturbation addiction etc. You know, reminding yourself EVERY time a thought like that comes to you .. that it's WRONG.. It's something that can RUIN YOUR LIFE. But yea I know its not something like u switch mode OFF and the thoughts are gone. No way. But, you need to GRADUALLY do it. Really slowly.. You need strict self-discipline, consciousness and patience, most importantly. Remember, gradually is the key word.


By anonymous at 01,May,11 11:16

you know...i have a brother thats been acting strange lately and i told him that exact same thing a while back....god i pray that this isnt who i think it is....i also used to watcth that show with my little brother....

j****y is that you?
By anonymous at 01,May,11 14:14

yep its me. tell dad i said ill meet him in hell.


By anonymous at 15,May,11 18:07

Whatever you do DONT act on these feelings.. firstly it is wrong to have sex with a girl under 16 because she does not have the mental capacity to decide if this is right for her, secondly, even if over 16, remmber that under 18 is illegal. You will end up in jail and it will ruin your life. You need to tell yourself this is not a fantasy to allow yourself to indulge in, even in your mind. Go for your trannie fantasy and stuff.. the teacher fantasy is also very common and nothing or illegal for you to do. If virginity is important maybe a hooker is what you need, but go to a state where it is legal, do not risk illegal prostitution because in todays day and age it will mess up your life..


By anonymous at 28,Jun,11 02:46

You know what? It's okay. Just don't act on these thoughts. I have them, too. Suicide, pedophilia, slaughter... the most awful things (detrimental to society) pop up in my head when I am awake or dreaming, too. When I was a teenager, it was almost unbearable. I fantasized about some gruesome, amoral stuff. Never acted on it. Guess what? It's fine. The older you get, the better you are able to deal with it. Your thoughts, your wishes, and your ideas can never, and will never be a crime (unless you are Christian, if so, drop it like a hot potato). I hope you didn't write this post in jest, because everybody feels this way, they just don't admit it. It's part of your genetic code. Your post spoke to me. So... If it's real, talk to someone. Hopefully a professional, or someone you trust not to go self-righteously crazy (like these other posters) about what's happening in your head. Again, don't do anything, and remember that you are still a good person.


By suba suba at 07,Nov,19 16:07

rqLDF0 wow, awesome blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.


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