Where to start.. This is all in basic detail, just venting I guess.
As a kid I was always second best in everyones eyes compared to my brother, he used to bully me every day. My parents did nothing and when they did something it would be taking his side.
My dad used to hit me sometimes with a cane and shout at me, my mum was nice but she never did anything to stop this. I resent her because of this
Primary and High school sucked for me, I had few friends and was bullied due to being a different religion to the majority of people and had a non English name. No one gave a crap about me I felt worthless. In some way to validate myself I began to cut myself.
I began to skip school spend all the day smoking weed / drinking got mixed up with the wrong crowd. I began to exclude myself and hide away. My parents flipped out at me. I decided to go back to college and finally got some grades to get to university in order to escape my life.
At university I have lost contact with all my family and friends, I wish I could just have a normal relationship with my family but I hate them for the way they treated me, I began to drink heavily, smoke , take drugs, sleep about, still cut myself.
Now I don't see the point in life, there are days where I can't be bothered to get up and others where I wish I wasn't here. I can't be bothered to finish university, don't have any job prospects I just want to get away from everything about my life.
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My little sister bullied me. Still does. She went to EVERY prom. I did not get asked out to one. My mom watched as her boyfriend grabbed/screamed at me. So I know all about being violated and betrayed by your own family. It sure has eaten me alive.
My revenge is my art. I am going to go places with it. And I have taught my mom how to be kind. And sometimes it happens that way. The best one in the family, the one with the biggest heart and most wise, gets dumped on the most. Keep your head up and don't let anyone bully you or put you down. You got my respect.
Love and Light.
About the weed thing, it is fine, but long as you stay only on weed. And even weed, is not good for daily use.
Do you have goals in life? Did you ever think about that? Set a goal, or goals, and set your mind on them. If you can't set goals or don't know what you want to do with your life, then there is no point in living. I am being honest with you. Don't take it the wrong way.
Honesty is the best policy.
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