I feel like a burden to everyone. I've lost most of my friends because of the way I've acted in the past, and now my best friends who I'm really close to have started to ignore me. My main best friend is more like a therapist to me and I can tell I wear her out. My moods make me so hard to handle. I screw everything up.I'm failing school because I'm constantly so exhausted to do any work (I'm anaemic), so I might not be able to get out of this awful town and go to a good college. All my friends are very clever and always get A's and I always get U's and F's. My two ex-friends keep leaving me very abusive messages via instant message, and have spread unfair rumours about me to everyone I know. I hardly ever see my dad, who is a workaholic, and my mom annoys the hell outta' me. I'm close to my sister who is great and helps me out a lot, but she is moving to a town three hours away for university very soon, and I will have to get 2 trains down to see her. My grandmother has cancer and I look after her a lot, everyday. Most of my teachers hate me and think I'm just a little punk who doesn't put effort into getting good grades - but really I just can't concentrate and all I want is too sleep. I only go into school three days a week because I'm very depressed, but because of this I'm missing out of a lot of work, which then gets me more depressed and the cycle starts again. I'm 14. I recently met this really nice guy and he said he liked me, then the next day he met another girl and they started dating. Then I just don't hear from him (we used to text lots), but today on his facebook it says they broke up, and a few minutes later he texts me as if nothing has happened and starts flirting again. I feel like second best. I've been seeing a counsellor for almost a year now and she's done nothing but make me feel worse about myself - she's totally weird. The town I live in is horrible, small and full of gangs and crime. You can't really walk anywhere alone after a certain time because you'd just get attacked and raped. My school have brought all my big exams forward so instead of taking them when I'm 15/16, I have to do them all now. Two of my best friends are guys and one of them likes me which just changed everything and now it's really awkward. I never have anyone to talk to and I constantly embarrass myself. I've been suicidal for months now. I'd love to just run away from everything but I couldn't do that to my family. So I'm stuck in this shit heap town and if I don't magically improve my grades in a few months, I will be stuck here all my life. FML.