Let me start off right...I DO love my wife. That's why I'm still married to her.
The problem is, she is so critical ALL the time! I know I'm not perfect, but she thrives on telling me about every single little thing I do that she feels could have been done better - and there's virtually NOTHING that couldn't have been done better! It has resulted in a truly negative environment for me. Just this evening I was seeking her input on an issue with one of our children, and after several suggestions and requests for input from her with no response, I went ahead and dealt with the issue in accordance with my last suggestion to her. THREE HOURS of calls and texts about this with no input from her; and when I made a decision, committed to it and notified her, she responded within 2 MINUTES to tell me I had screwed it up. It was a subjective issue too, concerning how long our 18 year old should be able to hang out at a jazz festival with her friends on a weekend. I said 11 hours with a curfew at 10pm, so 11am (after chores) to 10pm. My wife blew her stack over that.
I could put up with all of the criticism and negativity if there was any positive feedback to balance it, but that doesn't happen. On those occasions that I do something which is either perfect or so close to it she cannot find anything to criticize, she ignores it. Moves on to the next thing, and continues until she DOES find something to criticize.
It's not like I'm a drunk, unsupportive or an abuser either. I am away frequently on business trips, but I always contribute around the house doing dishes and laundry when I am home. I've never abused her or the children. I've never cheated. I have always provided for my family, and as a Captain for a major airline I am very well respected and compensated at work. Enough so that being at work is becoming more and more preferable to being at home as time goes on.
I don't want to end my marriage with a divorce. Neither of us has cheated and we both believe that divorce is something to be avoided. I believe that in her own way she loves me too - it's just that she has this incredible compulsion to be RIGHT all the time, even if it's only by pointing out continually just how WRONG everyone else is.
I'm not sure I can survive this environment much longer...