Back in elementry school i had tons of really good friends who were always there for me. My stupid ass decided after the first semester of 5th grade to homeschool due to some problems of leaving school early alot which i dont feel like explaining why. So i homeschooled the rest of 5th to 7th grade.
During those lonely 2 and a half years, i slowly started to stop seeing my friends. They were starting to not hang with me as much. Soon enough i would find myself every weekend doing nothing. Very lonely. So i went to a small charter school for 8th grade.
I met one of my old friends who did drugs. He didnt start going to my school till the 2nd week so since i got shy from being alone a while i was always alone. He was really popular so i ONE other GOOD friend now. After the 2nd semester i was smoking weed with him almost every week. My grades plumeted but some how managed C's and B's.
I gotta say i had some good memories from 8th grade, but none as good as the time i was with all my real friends who i no longer even see. I was hoping to hang out with my old elementry friends since i found out most of the group i was with was going to the same high school.
They seemed like they changed a lot and just didnt really wanna hang with me anymore because i was so quiet and shy. So i sticked with my one friend i had. Not the one who introduced me to drugs. He would smoke every now and then though and i would almost everyDAY alone. even though im in high school now a freshmen, have made a few more friends but none that just seem good friends. I am now VERY depressed all because my elementry princible was a bitch and told me to switch out.
Everyday now i have myself thinking what would life be like if i never left? A shit tone more really good friends and memories, no drugs, no depression, just a good childhood. But no. im 15 and fucking hate my life because ive succumed to drugs and have one good friend who in a way cares for me.
I just want to be my old self with my old friends, sorry this is so damn long and boring and repetitive. just feel like i have to tell someone how i feel.