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It could've all been better

Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2011
Tags: 2011 April  Friendship  Juvenile problems

Back in elementry school i had tons of really good friends who were always there for me. My stupid ass decided after the first semester of 5th grade to homeschool due to some problems of leaving school early alot which i dont feel like explaining why. So i homeschooled the rest of 5th to 7th grade.

During those lonely 2 and a half years, i slowly started to stop seeing my friends. They were starting to not hang with me as much. Soon enough i would find myself every weekend doing nothing. Very lonely. So i went to a small charter school for 8th grade.

I met one of my old friends who did drugs. He didnt start going to my school till the 2nd week so since i got shy from being alone a while i was always alone. He was really popular so i ONE other GOOD friend now. After the 2nd semester i was smoking weed with him almost every week. My grades plumeted but some how managed C's and B's.

I gotta say i had some good memories from 8th grade, but none as good as the time i was with all my real friends who i no longer even see. I was hoping to hang out with my old elementry friends since i found out most of the group i was with was going to the same high school.

They seemed like they changed a lot and just didnt really wanna hang with me anymore because i was so quiet and shy. So i sticked with my one friend i had. Not the one who introduced me to drugs. He would smoke every now and then though and i would almost everyDAY alone. even though im in high school now a freshmen, have made a few more friends but none that just seem good friends. I am now VERY depressed all because my elementry princible was a bitch and told me to switch out.

Everyday now i have myself thinking what would life be like if i never left? A shit tone more really good friends and memories, no drugs, no depression, just a good childhood. But no. im 15 and fucking hate my life because ive succumed to drugs and have one good friend who in a way cares for me.

I just want to be my old self with my old friends, sorry this is so damn long and boring and repetitive. just feel like i have to tell someone how i feel.


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By anonymous at 10,May,11 05:51

Nothing serious though. Just try your best to stay out of trouble - drugs. Friends, you just have to let them be familiar with u first...just appear in school everyday and they will talk to u. Dun need worry about that.

By anonymous at 10,May,11 15:09

Even if you'd stayed in school the entire time and never been homeschooled, you probably would have drifted away from your elementary school friends by now. People grow and change so quickly, especially in their teens, and hardly anyone keeps their elementary school friends all through high school. Ask your parents if they did -- I'll bet they didn't. I didn't, and I honestly don't know anyone else who did.

What you need to focus on now is new people, new friends and new experiences. That's what high school is all about! You're smart if you managed C's and B's even while high. Stay off weed, you owe it to yourself to get a good education; and weed will make you depressed when you're not on it. That accounts for a lot of what you're feeling. A good excuse is "I got asthma, I can't smoke". I guarantee you'll feel so much better in a month.

You have to build a good friendship and keep it going, it doesn't just happen naturally. You have to put in the time, hang out with each other, learn new things about each other and go through things together. If none of your current not-so-good friends seem worth the effort then meet some new people. Join some clubs, even if they seem dorky at first, and try some new things like photography or writing.

By anonymous at 12,May,11 21:07

You are just now entering prime time to be making friends. All of the many friends I had in high school I met there, not elementary school. You'll be fine as long as you stay positive. Smoking weed isn't that bad. Don't get down on urself so much you have a lot to look forward to.

By at 13,May,11 22:51

Just do me a favor and NEVER touch anything stronger then weed. Give it up now, it's a mental addiction yes, but no way near the addictions out there now. Pills. Stay AWAY from any and all pills. That is the drug that destroys lives. You can't just walk away from it, you become physically dependent and get sicker then you could ever imagine if you stop. Please, your life is not that bad hun. If you knew my story you'd love your life lol. But STAY AWAY from drugs. I cannot stress that enough!!!!!

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