I guess my story could be simple as " I just got fucked out of a lot of good things due to fucked up people and situations". I really wish I could turn back time and correct the mistakes and take the leap of faith when I was just scared of failing. The truth is failing is never trying or just trying too late. I feel like an ass for knowing the truth in my heart from the start of the decisions I've made but allowed that old fucked up fear get it the way. Too many people do this to themselves and realize it at it's conception or when time slips by and the refection in the mirror shows you by age. DUDE, just fucking get out there and fight for what you believe in the your head and heart is yours. Claim it, even if every fucking family member, so called bullshitting friend(associate) or whom ever says just play it safe, have a plan b. Fuck a "Plan B" or for the "A" all the way until the damn color fades from that bitch. People will never understand you but you and when you hear that voice in your head telling to go for it all you can do is try, don't quit or be a little bitch about it. I say all this because I gave in to the bullshit instead of believing in me even when I knew I had skills and ability to do it. Damn, it fucks my head up every time I look back but I screwed up. I'm an ace at what I do and had so many near misses but I didn't jump when I should have. I know you're like, what the hell is he talking about but it isn't important for you to know. Just understand that I could have been something major in life and I'm seeing all the seeds I've planted grow all around me but I never got a chance to blossom. So now I watch and hear the creations of my doing all around me and I'm too old to profit from it. It's fucked up and I blame myself for not fighting for my dreams. Don't do it yourself, believe when know does and go harder than everybody.