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Life Sucks, Then You Die

Posted by admin at January 15, 2008
Tags: General  January 2008

I thought it may be useful to post here some articles about how to fight "life sucks" attitude...
==========================

What if you hate your life? Or maybe you donít quite hate it, but youíre just not happy with your current situation? Perhaps youíre depressed, bored, or apathetic. Or maybe you just donít see the point in living at all.

If you donít see the point in living, then youíre missing the point of life entirely. The point of life is to enjoy it.

Your life is your creation. Itís not something that happens to you ó unless you make the foolish mistake of abandoning your position as its chief architect. If you find yourself in that situation, donít feel bad. We all make that mistake at some point. We all forget that weíre in charge of our own lives and that our experience of life is largely under our control. But the truth is that we live by choice.

If you think your life is out of your control, itís because youíve chosen to relinquish the controls. What happens when you let go of the controls of a vehicle in motion, such as a car youíre driving? Its behavior is unpredictable. It may spin around in circlesÖ or get stuck somewhereÖ or even crash. Isnít that precisely what happens to us when we abandon responsibility for living our lives?

Surrender

What about surrendering your life to a higher power? Isnít that a good thing? That depends on how you apply it. If you think surrendering to a higher power means relinquishing the controls and hoping everything works out OK, wellÖ I hope you donít try this while driving 60mph on the freeway. That type of surrender is precisely the opposite of conscious living. Itís not spiritual. Itís not divine. Itís just dumb.

True surrender is a deepening of responsibility, not an abdication of it. In this form of surrender, you make the very conscious decision to align yourself with a so-called higher power. This higher power might be your version of God, Source, nature, your higher self, or something else you regard as beyond your human ego. You can be an atheist and still undergo this form of surrender. Itís a decision to cooperate with what you believe is the greater good. In practice it means letting go of your resistance to life and deciding to create a life of joy instead of one of pain. You donít give up control of your vehicle here ó quite the contrary. You keep total control of your vehicle, but you commit to driving more intelligently, using the roads instead of ramming into trees.

Emotional feedback

Your human emotions serve as your feedback mechanism on your lifeís journey. Theyíre like the dashboard display on your car. When your dashboard indicates a problem, it means you need to fix something with the car. It doesnít mean the dashboard is broken.

If your car canít move forward because youíve run it into a tree, and your speedometer indicates 0mph despite your flooring the accelerator, is that the carís fault? Do you exclaim, ďDamn this stupid car! I hate my car!Ē because it canít barrel through the tree? People would think youíre crazy. But thatís exactly what so many of us do with our lives. Maybe getting stuck was your fault and maybe it wasnít, but remember youíre still the driver. You arenít going to get unstuck by blaming the car; that will only perpetuate your stuckness.

When youíre not enjoying life, thatís a message you need to listen to. Feeling bad about your life doesnít mean you have emotional problems or that youíre psychologically damaged in some way. Your feedback mechanism is doing its job just fine. Youíre supposed to feel bad when your life is out of whack. You just need to interpret the message properly and then take action to correct the situation.

For example, if youíre feeling chronically apathetic, depressed, or bored to tears with your life, perhaps the message is this: Your life sucks!

That is to sayÖ your current life situation is not at all what you want. You donít want to keep experiencing what youíre experiencing.

Now upon receiving this feedback, many people, for one reason or another, respond as if the emotional feedback was itself the problem. Maybe we need therapy or drugs or escapism to fix those pesky negative emotions. Thatís like blaming your car for running out of gas. Itís supposed to eventually run out of gas. That means itís working properly. Likewise youíre supposed to experience these negative emotional states when youíre veering off course from what you want. That means your emotional feedback is working properly. Be thankful when this happens because this feedback is extremely valuable.

Choose your response

Once you start getting negative emotional feedback, youíre supposed to act on it. Itís a signal to get off your butt and move, to change what youíre doing. If youíve been stuck in negative emotions for a long time, it means youíve been failing to heed the message. Itís time to do something about that feedback. Trying to avoid dealing with it is like ignoring a warning on your carís dashboard; youíre only going to make things worse if you delay.

If you feel negatively about your job, change it. If you feel negatively about your relationship, change it. If you feel negatively about your body, change it. If you feel negatively about your financial situation, change it.

Iím not saying change will be easy. But itís always within your power to change something, and it is a lot easier than wallowing in self-pity. Thinking about taking action but not taking action is harder than taking action. If youíre stuck in negative emotions, youíre making things unnecessarily hard. Youíre picking the most difficult alternative available to you. Itís easier to get off your butt and get moving.

You may not fix everything overnight, but the very act of getting into motion will usually be enough to turn off those negative emotions. Then youíll start feeling positive and happy again as you begin making progress towards what you want. Just being in motion towards a better situation feels good, sometimes really good.

If youíve been feeling down for a long time now, itís because youíve been wallowing far too long in a situation you donít want. If you donít want your current situation, leave. You know you donít want it, so stop tolerating it.

Stop kidding yourself. Youíre not powerless to change. In your mind youíre probably making the key actions a lot more complicated than they need to be. Itís pretty amazing how many stuck situations can get unstuck with just a few moments of action. Here are some examples:

If you donít like your job, go to your boss and say, ďI donít like this job, so Iím quitting.Ē

If you donít like your relationship, go to your partner and say, ďThis relationship isnít working for me, so I want to break up now.Ē

If you donít like your body, go through your kitchen and throw out every item you sense will make your body worse if you were to eat it regularly. Then go shopping and replace those items with choices you feel will make your body better.

If you donít like your finances, take your current monthly income and mentally increase it by 50%. Then start brainstorming what youíd need to do to become worthy of earning that amount consistently. Write that figure down on a piece of paper, and tape it to your wall where youíll see it every day. If you have a job you like, go to your boss or your bossí boss, tell them that figure is your income goal, and ask what youíd need to do to start earning it. If they tell you itís impossible, you know youíll need to switch jobs too.

Getting unstuck is about making simple decisions and taking actions, always moving away from what you donít want and towards what you want. If you donít know what you want, then just move away from what you donít want until you figure it out.

No matter how bad you feel about your life, youíre not helpless. You probably contributed a great deal to getting yourself into your current situation. Even when you think someone or something else is to blame, you probably had the power to intervene to prevent it if you really made an effort. But the past is over, so thereís no point beating yourself up about previous mistakes. Just commit to being a bit more conscious going forward.

Your power lies in your ability to make decisions. If your life sucks ó and your emotions are drowning you in that message day after day ó then you stop making the same decisions youíve been making in the past because they clearly arenít working. Itís time to start making new decisions and acting on them.

If you donít know what to do to correct your situation, just do something different than what youíre already doing. You know those lame decisions arenít working, so they canít possibly be right. Maybe your new decisions will be better, and maybe they wonít. Either way your emotions will continue to provide feedback, and you can adjust course as you go. Anything is better than staying stuck, since you know thatís a dead end already.

Choose happiness

Donít settle for a life you know isnít working. Change it. If necessary do something radically different. Fire everyone who doesnít make you feel good about yourself. Quit everything that makes you unhappy. Reboot your life situation. If other people whine about it, screw Ďem. Theyíll get over it.

Youíre here to create the life you really want, not to endure a life you donít want. Your power to make decisions and take action is all you need to get you out of a crappy situation. Exercise that power consciously.

If you still donít know what to do, then ask yourself this question: What would a happy person do in my situation? If you start doing what you think a happy person would do, youíll start moving towards a life that naturally resonates with happiness. If youíre really clueless, you can even post in the forums on this site, describe your situation, and ask other people what theyíd do to change it for the better. Lots of people have already done this and have gotten great responses.

Never give up

Iím no stranger to the Ēmy life sucksĒ period. Iíd drag myself out of bed sometime after noon, play video games for hours, maybe hang out drinking with friends or play poker, stay up late, go for a long walk thinking about how much my life sucked, crash feeling depressed, and repeat. For months I kept doing the same thing over and over. And life kept right on sucking. My emotions kept telling me, ďDamn this sucks!Ē That whole period of my life is one giant blur.

Finally Iíd had enough and reached the breaking point, and I decided to change it. I finally woke up and realized that I was the one in charge of this life and that I actually had the power to change it. Even so, it still took me a few years before I was in a situation I felt I wanted. The outer change was neither fast nor easy. But it was a heck of a lot easier than wallowing in self-pity. And I started feeling a lot better as soon as I got moving in a new direction.

I stopped hanging out with unsupportive friends, stopped drinking, stopped gambling, moved to a new place, started running, and reconnected with some positive old friends. I made lots and lots of changes. If I couldnít figure out what would be better, I just went for different. And it worked.

If youíre going through a tough time right now, I feel for you. Iím saying that as someone whoís been there. Obviously I havenít been through the same experiences you have, and we can compare notes about who had it worse later, but I know what it feels like to feel that life is totally pointless. I know what it feels like to wake up each morning with the hazy hope of finding something mildly interesting to do that dayÖ but always being disappointed with the reality. I know what itís like to look towards the future and see nothing to look forward to of any consequence, aside from the shallow possibility of a new movie or game to distract me a while longer.

I also know that the solution is to wake up and realize youíre doing this to yourself. Recognize that youíre the creator of your life ó not your family, your boss, your spouse, the government, or society at large. No one is coming to rescue you. Itís all you. If your life currently sucks, itís entirely up to you to change it.

We human beings are immensely resilient. Even when weíre in seemingly hopeless situations, we can still dig ourselves out and make something better of it. The only way for life to become truly hopeless is to decide to lose hope.

Your life will improve the moment you realize life isnít something to be endured or tolerated. Itís an experience of your own creation. Your thoughts and actions are the primary forces that determine the reality of your day-to-day experience. If your life sucks, itís because youíve been a sucky creator. But you can get better.

In this lifetime you are the creator, the architect, the engineer, the artist. Use your gift of consciousness to chisel yourself a masterpiece. Then keep improving it as you enjoy the heck out of it. And never, ever give up.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/08/life-sucks-then-you-die/


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Comments:
By at 12,May,09 14:21

your pointless so just kill urself haha


By Alex at 16,Apr,11 14:12

Ppl like you get all the brains. I just get to say thanks for he asenwr.


By at 26,Nov,11 18:11

Holy sihznit, this is so cool thank you.


By seo service at 28,May,13 04:49

VYFI2Q Thanks a lot for the blog post.Much thanks again. Cool.


By anonymous at 28,May,13 07:32

Thanks! My depression has all gone,


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