My mother abandoned me when I was 7, but before she did, she did some great damage. I was always deprived of food and social contact. Whenever possible, I would be locked indoors, so that people could not see how scrawny I was. Whenever I did go outside, she would layer me with clothes (even on a hot summer day), so as to "bulk" me up. Sometimes she locked me up in a dark bathroom and told to stay quiet, whenever her bf came over to fuck. Her boyfriend would always threaten and hit me.
A few years later, my family (now with a stepmother) moved to North America, where I was bullied in school and became a total social outcast.
I had no friends throughout school (all of it), largely due to the fact I was very shy. In high school, I was still a target to bullying and fights, as I was labeled as "different" by everyone. At the time, I never had what most kids took for granted (nice clothes, money and an abundance of tasty food).
I had to live with emotionally abusive, arrogant parents (who would only tell me how much of a failure I am going to grow up to be). This would only further bruise my already crushed self-esteem. I never once stood up to them, because I thought I had it "good" (at least they didn't physically abuse me).
I never even thought of girls, cars or partying as a teenager, because I never thought I was worthy of such "gifts".
I went to college for a year only to start binge drinking and break away from my parents (to live on my own). I had to learn social skills quickly (to keep up with everyone else), and even trained myself to completely lose my foreign accent. I've stopped drinking (haven't had a single sip for over two years now) and never done any drugs. Yes, I feel cheated out of the life that I could have had, and yes I am bitter and hurting about the life I had. But I have learned to stay positive, because even after all this hell, I can say that I've made it. | |
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