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I hate Living

Posted by Rosie at May 26, 2011
Tags: 2011 May  Relationship

I am a sole support parent, 2 years ago I letr a long term boyfriend move in with me and my daughter. He said he loved her and we were a family and all that crap I secretly wanted to hear. And now he has left me for another women who is amazing looking and has no kids and if sounds like they have so much fun together. He hasn;t seen my daughter, in months adn she is crushed she is five. It's like everything I worked for over 5 years of being cheated on and lied to and after a couple months they live together and are having a kid. I just hate my life. I feel imprisoned by own bad decisions, I want to die and I just hate myself for never being enough. I fail at everything and I hate my life.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 11,Jun,11 07:23

I know it hurts but you need to let that go and focus on making the best life possible for you and your child. Fuck him.


By anonymous at 11,Jun,11 11:34

No-ones beautiful forever the people who place so much weight on that grow to lack serious character and substance, which leaves them with nothing. You didn't talk about the father of your child...not sure whats going on with that. The guy you were with was superficial scum. Yeah it's not fair, but least you dont rely on some jerk off guy. Take care.


By anonymous at 13,Jun,11 15:18

wow, I'm so sorry, what a total douche bag. Just remember you have a I'm sure a beautiful 5 year old daughter, keep in mind she can be whatever she wants to be. Be there for her, and give her the world...a asshole like that doesn't deserve someone such as yourself and your daughter, FIGHT THE LONG FIGHT!


By anonymous at 13,Feb,12 09:41

lifes crap who cares all be over soon


By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 13:51

true


By anonymous at 07,Aug,12 07:55

Hello Rosie, I feel sorry for you after reading your story. It is painful to see a loved one move on and have fun with someone else... but wait. loved one? You didn't really write that you loved him and that he loved you. You just wrote he told you he loved your child, which you wanted to hear... Sounds to me like too much ratio and too little emotio.

Have the two of you really been interested in each other and spent enough time with and attention to each other? Or is your life maybe centered around your child and you just wanted someone to support you? Did you love him because you needed him or did you need him because you loved him? And what about him? Did you see proof that he loves and cares about you or did you just see what you wanted to see? Did you and he really fit together and want the same things in life? Or did you rather have a temporary agreement to give each other what you needed, e.g. someone to support you with your everyday tasks, while he got whatever a guy just needs?

I think mentioning that the new girlfriend is looking good is not relevant here at all. It may have made you feel better if he ended up with an ugly one, but it wouldn't make any difference in the fact that you have been left behind and certainly not made any difference for your daughter who suffers. It is simple to blame others as being superficial, as some of the commenters do, but in my opinion that is in all of us. Why would it otherwise be important to mention that the new one is good looking and has no child? Does that matter? Maybe there are other reasons why he left. Maybe it is better that way, because you will encounter someone who suits you better. What about a sole support father?

Don't feel bad. these things happen in life and make us grow bigger and better. You will find someone if you accept to let go. Don't try to hold on to what you love. Accept that everything in life is temporary and that only the moment counts. Cherish the time you had spent with you Ex-boyfriend. Encounter him with understanding and love, tell him the truth without manipulating, e.g. that your daugther misses him. Just try to be a human being, but before all of that, learn to love yourself. Love the imperfections of your life, learn to love all the failures and bad decisions. Look forward to make more bad decisions and mistakes, because they are inevitable, since you never know better than after it happened.

You are a wonderful human being and you value is not depending on how many people are around you. Your value is depending on how you feel inside and only you can influence and control that in the long run. Noone else.

I wish you a good life and that fate sends you the right one

Regards


By melanie at 09,Oct,12 10:27

I had a awesome boyfriend named Francisco then he dumped me and I cried all day and night long for two days I wouldn't stop my parents asked me why I was crying so I lied to them not I look at him and say stupid stuff then I regret it later.


By at 10,Oct,12 11:28

Melanie don't be sad I know who you are talking about im so sorry but don't be sad I know he will ask you out again


By melanie at 10,Oct,12 11:31

aww thanks keith and the only reason you know him is because you are in our class and I told you about this website


By at 10,Oct,12 11:32

ok you caught me


By anonymous at 14,Oct,12 22:10

I fucking hate my life too, I love life, just hate living it. All women have lied to me, I've spent 15 years moving around the country and international waters to be near my son, my ex wife begs me to move to some stupid cornfield and I do so 3 years later after I barely see my son, I think I'll use the spite and aspects of negative thinking to achieve. Gotta use your power as your weakness. Your weakness is your power!!!


By anonymous at 03,Nov,12 04:58

life is only good if you have lots of money


By anonymous at 19,Nov,12 21:20

He is an asshole. That's all there is to it. I would say that probably over 95% of people i have encountered have turned out to be assholes. Two of my three best friends have turned out to be assholes, too. I am sorry to hear that you feel your life has been collapsing on itself, but that's the risk we all take in living. The only thing I can suggest to you is to try to surround yourself by people who are pure and decent and fuck everyone else. You will know decent people when you get to know them. They are people who genuinely care about the welfare of others and can see past themselves. Do not let your sadness affect the things you do with your daughter. Cherish her and teach her not to be asshole like your old boyfriend in the hope that she will grow up to be one of the decent people that are so difficult to come across. Good luck.


By anonymous at 21,Nov,12 12:27

i feel the same way i just want to die as soon as any bad thing happens


By anonymous at 08,Mar,13 06:43

you suck


By anonymous at 13,Jun,13 10:04

Im a christian..and I resently left an abusive church.This isnt the only abuse Ive gone through ...abused as a child..
Ive always been a fighter... and fought back ...pushed my way through lifes ups and downs...church should be a haven help protection ...when its not then what else is there in life...Ive tried it all drugs alcohal...religion...its all screwed up...Stop the world I want to get OFFF


By crorkz mattz at 15,Jan,15 21:29

OYYMZ2 Heya! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the excellent work!


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