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Embarrasment of my family

Posted by bEn at May 27, 2011
Tags: Attitude  Loneliness  2011 May

Well i don't know why im here really, i think i just want to get things off my chest. I am 21 yr old male, have no friends whatsoever , and 90% of the time just wishing some kind soul would end my life. I had a best friend up till about 14, then he went off and found some new friends, all the people i went to school with were very immature, took drugs or smoked, so i went off on my own. 7 years of not having a single friend, sometimes i feel fine about the rest im suicidal. Im just too much of a coward to end my life. I have 2 sisters, one is beautiful and we all know that is all you need to have a massive number of friends, my other sister is young , beautiful and intelligent, and has plenty of friends that she has plenty of things in common with from her grammar school.
I am the embarrasment of my family, i feel so ashamed when my Mums talking about the successes of my sisters, i have done nothing with my life still living at home, my typical day is sleep, work, drink alone at home, and when sick of being at home ill go for a random drive somewhere. Ive had girlfriends on and off but its hard work when you have no friends and zero confidence, on top of a severe lack of personality. I sit at home every weekend night just wishing i was out partying with a group of friends, meeting women, but i know i will end up at 40 yrs old eating takeaways every night of the week, drinking alcohol, watching tele, thats if i ever feel brave enough to move out of my mum's house and gain some "independance". Reassuring to know, as bad as it sounds, im not the ONLY one out there.
I have not put a foot wrong in life tbh, always treated people with respect, never been in trouble with the police, actually too soft for my own good doing too many favours, yet i get all the shit that life can throw at you whilst theres druggies, thieves and down right nasty people out there with amazing lifestyles.

Sick of it, but thanks for letting me get things off my chest i do actually feel a little better about it now.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 16,Jun,11 10:37

Yes, your life truly does suck. You are what I would call a lost cause. You will find help @ this website though www.im-a-loser-and-want-to-cut-my-own-head-off.com . all the best


By anonymous at 17,Jun,11 19:31

Like what you said your to soft and do to many favors for others and then only get shit thrown at you. I feel exactly the same. But I also have a certain situation, like I used to give everyone money (but ofcourse they had to pay me back) but I'm in a bad spot to give out any money, so when I asked all of the people who I gave money to, they had nothing, like WTF? But compared to what your going threw I'm sure yours is much worse.-_-. I'm going to keep you in my prayers


By anonymous at 20,Jun,11 17:27

u r not the only. My life is even worse than ur. I m 25 & never had friends or girlfriends. I hate my job. My day routine is go work, come from work with some takeaway n a bottle of vodkah


By anonymous at 21,Jun,11 04:55

You're not the only one. I have no friends either & haven't for basically 5 years. Don't take up alcohol though, & try to eat vegetables, fruit. Remember the ideals of the world are highly skewed. There's more to life than 'partying' & 'meeting women' despite popular belief. Our relationship with God, through Jesus is the most important. Find a local biblical accurate church & you'll find yourself around more conscientious people, as long as you go in search of God. This world is to vain anyway, but God has said 1 SAMUEL 16.7: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.


By anonymous at 25,Jun,11 09:16

hey man.

My life was pretty much similar to yours. I've got really strong morals and ethics, have always done right things regardless how difficult the situation is. But got nothing in return. No materialistic gain, no real friends, no girlfriends, fucking nothing. Guess what i got in the end??? I somehow got spiritual enlightenment at age of 23. The happiness was still shortlived. Even though i became content with myself, enlightenment made me feel depressed about what most people are like around me. people with no morals or ethics. I only get abused when trying to convince them to do the right things. SO MY CONCLUSION IS, EVEN AFTER ENLIGHTENMENT, WE AS HUMANS ARE BORN TO BE DEPRESSED!!! END OF STORY.


By anonymous at 08,Jul,11 04:23

dude, whatever you may say it is cowarly TO end your life,
its a crime to take any life,including you own,so you are a very brave person,I know things can be tough someitimes,
Ive had some really bad S@# happening to myself,
Id made friends three years ago two guys and me,we were like a typical tom ,dick harry trio,had great times ,it was my only source of ispirations ,my parents are separated and they hardly talk,after 7 years of fighting they don see anything else,my dada was abusive and makes fun of me and my younger siblings, and acts as if they are useless and don matter,in the midst of alll of this,i tght i had friends,a year ago i dont know wat happened things jst turned over,one of them who i thought was my best friend,starts making out with my childhood sweetheart right in front of me,and had tried to coerce me into drugs at the same time(and suceedeed becoz of my trust ),its taken me 3 years ,i still thnk about it sometimes,and i am filled with hate,its like losing a part of yourself,my mother at the same time has been going more and more psychotic asking me to leave the house and fend for myself,
its been really hard , and i am doing this,i dont talk to my parnets and keep in touch with only the other friend of my broken trio,and stil talk to my ex -sweetheart,its been going better .and i see only one way out ,my way,coz i matter no s#$ wat the world thinks,


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