Dear Life,
Where the hell are you getting all these god damned lemons? Yeah, I know, I'm supposed to make lemonade, but I can't make it without the sugar, so could you maybe throw me some of that too? Huh? Please?
I have a list of complaints. Here are the reasons that I hate you.
1. Remember when I was a toddler and Dad tried to kill himself a few days after FUCKING CHRISTMAS? Yeah, I was watching, thank you. I watched him shit all over himself and scream bloody murder while the paremedics took him away. I watched as my mom bawled over a man that she hated. I didn't even know what the hell happened until I was a fucking teenager! You could have at least kept me in my room while this happened so I wouldn't have to be terrified of my dad for weeks.
2. Oh yeah, and speaking of Daddy's suicide attempts-that one last Thanksgiving? Not cool.
3. My mother's fucking manipulation. Life, did you have to make her such a huge liar? If she told me the sky was blue, I'd look out the window to make sure. I can't trust ANYTHING that woman says. And she's my MOM! I'm supposed to be able to believe and trust her!
4. That forty-year old man when I was fifteen. Yeah, I know he only felt me up; it's not like he raped me. But it still hurt me emotionally. I was fifteen fucking years old and I had a grown man groping my breasts and tounging my neck...and he was a friend of my father, no less! And afterwards, he continued to stay in our house! I spent nights awake worrying if he was going to come in my room and do something worse! All because my fucking father didn't have the balls to kick him out! Yes, I TOLD my dad what happened, and he STILL let that fucker stay!
5. I hate you for making me ugly. I hate these stupid crooked teeth and this stupid acne covered face and this stupid overly bushy hair. You didn't have to make me pretty, but you could've at least made me average.
6. I'm socially awkward. I hate that I can never make any god damned friends, and even when I do, I'm paranoid that they don't really like me.
7. I hate my fucking ADD. I hate it for making me do poorly in school, and I hate myself for always using it as an excuse.
8. I hate that you led me away from the one place where I had friends. I hate that you led me away from the closest thing to a normal life I ever had. Sure, things still went bad, but Dad and Delaina hardly ever fought and I was doing okay in school and I had Justyce. I could always run to her when things got too screwy. And I had Will. I finally had a boy who made me feel pretty and smart. And what did you do, life? You took me away from them. You moved me across the fucking Atlantic Ocean.
9. I hate what you're doing to Justyce. You've done enough to that poor girl by giving her an abusive mom...For god's sake, she doesn't need bullies too. Can't you just leave her alone?
10. I hate what you've done to Delaina. She was such a nice lady, and I liked her more than my real mom. Then, you made her and Dad start fighting and now she's turned into Super Bitch who takes everything out on me.
11. Most of all, I hate what you've turned me into. I'm a manipulative, needy, insecure freak who complains to her step mom (who already has enough on her shoulders) and cuts herself. You've turned me into a bitch who lies to everyone about everything, because if I told them the truth about you, they'd think I was an even bigger freak!
Life, kindly go fuck yourself.
Sincerly,
Me. | |
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