I'm 15 and I have 4 siblings. My mum loves them pretty much. She hates me.
I have a job, and none of my siblings do. She gives them $40 a week spending money and gives me none because I have a job (the ones who are old enough to work are 17, and a step brother who is 16). When I didn't have a job though, she would go mental 24/7 that I don't have a job. She could care less about the fact that none of my older brothers do. They spend their money on weed (she doesn't know though. She'd kill them if she found out), and she pays for their school supplies, clothes, etc. I spend the money I earn from my job on school related things and I barely have any money left to spend on anything else.
I've wanted braces since I was 13. She recently paid for my 12 year old sister to have braces, but thought it was a waste to pay for me too. I started saving up for braces and managed $2240 so far (the braces are $7720). She forced me to lend her $600 for a new car tire because she didn't have any cash on her, and $370 so she could buy my 17 year old brother a $1200 bass (and when I tried to buy my own $800 bass she wouldn't let me cause she thought it was a waste of money). If I didn't lend the money she probably would have grounded me for life. She now refuses to owe me my $970 back simply because she doesn't want to. She said I should just not get braces, and if I decide to get them anyway she's not helping me pay for them. Did I mention she's currently helping my brother by a new car?
Speaking of cars, my grandad recently bought a new car so he gave me his old one (which is still in pretty good condition. He may be old, but he likes nice cars). My mum said that because I don't have a full license yet, it's my step-brother's until I get my full (1-2 years away). I told her I have my restricted license though, and I'm allowed to drive on my own, but she just ignores me. I'll probably try to get my Grandad to convince her but that'll probably get her pissed off.
I haven't slept well in days because I lie in bed coughing for hours before I eventually get to sleep (I went to bed at 11pm last night, and didn't manage to sleep until 5am). I've been having non-stop coughing fits for 5 weeks now. My mum refuses to go to take me to the doctor because it might be nothing so she can't be bothered. I even said I would pay for the doctors appointment but she just can't be bothered. When my brother had Chronic Cough (I think that's what it was) she took him within the first 2 weeks.
A few months ago I went to the doctor, and he said there is a chance I have something called PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome and that I would need to get an ultra sound on my pelvis. I knew my mum wouldn't pay for it, so I said I would but she doesn't want to take me. So I asked my aunty if she could take me, and my mum got angry and said it was just a waste. That was 3-4 months ago. I don't know much about PCOS but apparently if it's left untreated for a long time it can make you infertile, and a whole bunch of other things? I want to check it out but I'm not allowed. At 15 could I go do it myself? Hopefully she'll let me use my car to go do it.
Those are just a few things but it would take too long to list everything. Do you think my mum would even care if I killed myself? I wouldn't kill myself though. I always cry when I think about killing myself, because I don't want to die. Like... I want to kill myself because my life sucks so much but I just don't want to die. I'm only 15 and there are so many things I haven't done :/. There are soooooooo much things I've been so excited to do when I'm older all my life, and I don't want to not be able to do them just because of my mum.
I'm considering moving in with my dad. I never really got along with my Dad but he seems to be more caring than my mum. And everytime my siblings and I go visit him now, I seem to get along with him quite well now. Better than before.