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Why do I do things that I will regret in the end

Posted by I hate being a teenager at June 19, 2011
Tags: 2011 June  Juvenile problems

My step mom and dad are splitting up and its partially my fault.I liked my step mom and step sis but they're done with each other and there is nothing I can do.I wish I could go back in time and take every thing back but once again its too late.It all when I just couldn't keep my mouth shut,not knowing it but I was basically killing myself.I use to say bad thing about my dad to my step mom,because I felt sorry for her.She said my dad was a cheater.She would tell me stuff and I watch out for the signs and it made sense to me.Anyways a few months ago I accused my dad of doing something.That's another story.When my parents ask me to do chores i don't want to and i talk back yada yada yada.Ok I won't talk back anymore.As a matter of fact i won't talk at all.Then the next thing I'm antisocial and I stay in bed too much and no I don't have any close friends,I have a hard time making and keeping them and No I don't play sports.But my attitude and personality obviously did something to make her crack and supposedly she had a nervous break down,because what I said helped to make it worst.I"m sooo tired of this,I just want a way out.I want a way out fast.I don't know what to do any more.My parents don't have good jobs and we are poor probably gonna lose our house.I probably should have named this a summer to remember.NO please don't tell me to join sports because I'm too insecure about myself and no I don't have any friends I am a jealous,ungrateful and lazy bitch according to my family.I feel the need to compete withh other girls over fashion.Its funny cause I am too poor to buy nice clothes(I hate looking the worst).I've develop feelings for a man twice age.Who I feel the need to impress with my physical appeareance.Yeah I might have a pretty face but I have scars all over my body so no revealing clothes.I'm just so unhappy with myself to the point where I will not let anyone in because I'm afraid that they'll judge me.I always worry about my future and what I will turn out to be.I will probably become a hopless nothing and no I am not smart in school.I have decent grades nothing more.There is so much more but not enough time and memory.


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 15,Jul,11 18:05

I think you were jealous of your stepmom and the fact that she married your dad and so you secretly tried to undermine their relationship. Deep down you wanted their relationship to fail so you could have your dad all to yourself. I've seen teenage girls like you who intentionally fuck up your parents happiness because your a jealous little bitch. I've seen lifetime movies about little devils like you. Well you got what you wanted so stop whinning about it. Of course you had to know that by telling your stepmom that your dad was cheating you were helping to destroy their relationship. Only an idiot would think any good would come out of instigating and encouraging your stepmom's paranoia. Congrats! You've ruined your father's marriage, great job bitch.
By anonymous at 16,Jul,11 14:41

Well arent you sweet.
By anonymous at 17,Jul,11 19:55 Fold Up

Wow............


By anonymous at 15,Jul,11 22:53

Stop beating yourself up. If you learned something, move forward. Ask God for forgiveness. And expect to make a good life for yourself with your future. You can rebuild and create a better future.


By anonymous at 17,Jul,11 02:25

My parents broke up too. I noticed it was easy to blame myself, but I learned later that we are not ever at fault. It could never be our fault. It is easy to think we are, but in reality maybe our parents are not perfect. Sometimes parents get into relationships with the wrong partners. There relationship was probably doomed from the start, if they could not communicate probably. You were probably just voicing your opinions and looking out for your dad, because you also could tell the relationship was wrong. Instead of listening to all the haters putting you down, in reality you did a great thing by speaking up for yourself and listening to yourself and your opinions. I think working on your self esteem and trying to choose healthy partners is important, because you want to find a boyfriend that will come towards you in a healthy way instead of the way your father chooses healthy woman. Whether you believe it or not, I am sure you are beautiful, and had great reasons to do what you did. Do not feel this is your fault, when your parents choose a doomed relationship from the start. Try to find your self esteem, because you are worthwhile for being a human alone, and deserve to find a partner that treats you as such as well.


By anonymous at 17,Jul,11 19:54

Its not your fault. Parents sorta inadvertently suck you into their stuff. You're just a kid, don't worry about it. Try to stay friends with your step mom and sis, just because her and your dad aren't together doesn't mean you can't stay in touch. Don't let people make you feel beat up over it. Life is about learning.


By jane at 23,Jul,11 23:29

That's the best asnewr of all time! JMHO


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