Why do I do things that I will regret in the end | Posted by I hate being a teenager at June 19, 2011 | Tags: 2011 June Juvenile problems |
My step mom and dad are splitting up and its partially my fault.I liked my step mom and step sis but they're done with each other and there is nothing I can do.I wish I could go back in time and take every thing back but once again its too late.It all when I just couldn't keep my mouth shut,not knowing it but I was basically killing myself.I use to say bad thing about my dad to my step mom,because I felt sorry for her.She said my dad was a cheater.She would tell me stuff and I watch out for the signs and it made sense to me.Anyways a few months ago I accused my dad of doing something.That's another story.When my parents ask me to do chores i don't want to and i talk back yada yada yada.Ok I won't talk back anymore.As a matter of fact i won't talk at all.Then the next thing I'm antisocial and I stay in bed too much and no I don't have any close friends,I have a hard time making and keeping them and No I don't play sports.But my attitude and personality obviously did something to make her crack and supposedly she had a nervous break down,because what I said helped to make it worst.I"m sooo tired of this,I just want a way out.I want a way out fast.I don't know what to do any more.My parents don't have good jobs and we are poor probably gonna lose our house.I probably should have named this a summer to remember.NO please don't tell me to join sports because I'm too insecure about myself and no I don't have any friends I am a jealous,ungrateful and lazy bitch according to my family.I feel the need to compete withh other girls over fashion.Its funny cause I am too poor to buy nice clothes(I hate looking the worst).I've develop feelings for a man twice age.Who I feel the need to impress with my physical appeareance.Yeah I might have a pretty face but I have scars all over my body so no revealing clothes.I'm just so unhappy with myself to the point where I will not let anyone in because I'm afraid that they'll judge me.I always worry about my future and what I will turn out to be.I will probably become a hopless nothing and no I am not smart in school.I have decent grades nothing more.There is so much more but not enough time and memory. | |
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