my life sucks. i do have two great kids, but i'm all alone when it comes to having anyone to help me or us! i'm so lonely because there's only so much you can discuss with preschoolers. plus, i changed my religion and stopped drinking alcohol or hanging out at clubs and stuff- and it seems like that's all people my age do, so i end up alone. my kid threw my phone in the toilet. i still have service, but no phone- can't talk to anyone. lost my job because one son had such a bad asthma problem that i had to miss a lot of work, coincidentally right after my husband left us which also forced me to drop out of college. at the same time, my younger son wasn't allowed in the hospital because of a swine flu outbreak, so i had to leave the other one alone at night. now unemployment ran out. i have a boyfriend who lives with me now and keeps suckering me out of money, is totally mentally abusive and has been physically. don't judge me, i don't know how to get away. oh yeah, and he gave me herpes. he didn't know about it before he gave it to me, but nonetheless, it's something i have to live with forever that makes me feel trapped and like i no longer have the opportunity to date whomever i want. it's so bad that i have to take suppressive meds. in the last year, my hair has started turning white. i have foot pain that never goes away. now, i've become totally shut down emotionally, which is the suckiest part of this really, because i am such a loving, giving person. i just pretend nothing is going on around me, basically. my mother, who was the one i learned how to do anything from, is now hooked on prescription opiates and almost died not too long ago. there's more, but typing this doesn't really make anything better, does it?