I'm not sure whether if life sucks for me. I'm going on 30 later this year and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in life yet. Recently, my father told me that I ruined my family's restaurant business with my poor judgement. Hearing that from my old man, it took a huge beating out of my soul. Initially, I lashed out in anger wondering, why the hell he was blaming this all on to me. But after gathering things into perspective, I now know I am a failure.
I've been working for my family since I was 14 years old in High School and all I know about anything in the world was our family business. I thought I dedicated all my life into our family's business but I guess I wasn't doing my job right. I fucked up. My family is down under and about to lose the house that my father bought for me and my late brother.
I live in the same house that my brother died about 6 years ago. I still remember the day when I went upstairs to wake him up, opening door to finding him lifeless from his suicide.
I'm not sure if I miss my brother or daughter more? My baby daughter lives 6 hours away in another state with her mother. I haven't seen her in over a year now and I feel like I have failed her too as well. Daddy was suppose to make a lot money for both her and mommy this year, but now I have to make a career change to make this all happen. GOD please watch out after my daughter, her mother, and my parents.
Lord make me stronger and help me make wise decisions.
I hope this new career path I have chosen will make things right for everybody whom I've disappointed.
You know, I'm just an ignorant fuck when it comes to life. I took things for granted when my brother was around. I really miss you heong. I have to call Mr Suh tommorow and ask for advise onto becoming a mortician. I hope this is my true calling in life. I love serving people and making people happy, but obviously, I've lost respect from a lot of people in town from opening this restaurant.
Yes, my life does suck right now. I'm in major debt, but hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel