My life is just utterly pointless and of no worth. I'm such a nice, accepting person and I get treated like shit. I like to think I'm good looking, but its clear from other peoples reactions I am ugly. I am 19, and the most i've done with a girl is small kiss. I have no motivation to do anything. All my friends get women with such little effort, and I try hard to get any sexual pleasure and get nothing out of it. I feel I'm never going to get a girlfriend or get to bang a girl ever.. I started doing MDMA recently and its the only thing that makes me feel happy and more social then when I'm sober. I have never had any self-confidence from being bullied my whole life and being shy at a young age. I just don't wanna do anything anymore, and nothing will cure this. Everyone thinks I act like a total weirdo which makes me more self conscious. I walk with my head down and always have. I am not talkative at all unless another person sparks a conversation, which ends up being vague and me being uncomfortable [ unless the person is a good friend of mine ]. One time , this girl told my friends she wanted to sleep with me and I came to this party so stoked, and she showed no interest in me the whole party. Life just gets shittier and shittier and I know nothings gonna make it better unless I get laid with no effort at all, and magically my self-respect dramatically increases rapidly... | |
My circumstances are a little different to yours but I can say that my life turned into hell starting around 4 years of age. I've been trying to fix my life for many years now.
I have a suggestion for you though, based on your age my experience says you can fix yourself. Do your best to obtain a copy of "Magic Bullets" by Savoy. Its a great book and I'm sure you'll like it once you apply the knowledge in it.
Second to this watch the 5 "greg plit" videos on the simplyshredded website. He's an inspiration to all its well worth the time.
Whatever you do, "never ever" stop being a nice accepting person. The world doesn't need anymore pain and sadness and by changing this you'll be adding to it. Stay strong.
and i wanted to say that yer Perfect no matter what . =)
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