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lonely 28 years old female

Posted by msladyj28 at June 27, 2011
Tags: 2011 June  Loneliness

all my life i have always feelt lonely i feelt like i was always the girl getting used for my geniusity or helping or being nice. From since i was at school i never really fitted in anywhere as i was bulled cause i didnt follow a crowd or looked different and never got looks from boys i was always bulled more on a verbal then physical. i feelt lovely within my family like the uglest and dumpest one. which i took my life a couple of times i sometimes dont know why im still here. what left me more lonely was when my dad left was when i was 15 years old as their was abuse and violence in my mum and dad'd relationship i used to think it was my fault. when i left school i meet new people but still didnt fit in and was used cause i feelt that i was the uglest out of the group i was around and the girls only took me out so they cud say that there the prettest and not get pick. where i never been looked at by a man i had a first taster of when i went to the club but they only wanted me to get into bed with them and not be their girlfriend to be honest it made me feel wanted which i nver feelt that before but after a while i feel like cramp. so in my life i see friends come and go and didnt really have any tru friends most of my time i spend time by myself as i feelt that im not pretty or exciting enough anyway today i feel more lonely then ever even though i have a boyfriend which is my first proper relationship but its a long distance and i feel more lonely and i dont have a group of friends i can say that we do things together like girly things and except me for me and not use and abuse me i sometimes woulder will that ever happen i sometimes wish i was someone else as i wish had people that expect me for me and not take my kindness for granted the trouble with me im just to nice that probably the way my life is this way i woulder sometimes why am i still here


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