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I'm a very unhappy person

Posted by Lucy at June 27, 2011
Tags: Attitude  2011 June  Loneliness

First of all, I would like to apologize before hand for my english, since it's not my native language.
My life might not be as bad as many of the stories posted here. Yet, I consider myself as a very unhappy person. Ever since I was a child, Ive been criticized my many people around me, like my family or the rest of the people. I was bullied for most of my years as a scholar, since I was a child until university. My parents have never expected much from me and it's obvious for me that they've never really believed in me. Now I'm 25, and although and don't care so much about my parents opinion anymore, I do admit that sometimes it still hurts. Like for example, the other day mom told me that she thinks i'll never get married. I'm not an atractive woman, so i've suffered years of loneliness and crappy relationships. It's hard for me to find someone who I love and loves me back. Some guys only want to use me for different reasons and end up harming me without me deserving such crap. I do admit this is my fault, but sometimes I feel so sick and tired of being lonely that I end up with those type of guys. There have also been guys that like me despite my physical appearence, however I don`t feel the same way no matter how much I try and how I'm not the type of women that is entitled to choose the men I want (like atractive women). I have given some guys that like me a chance, but it has never worked and I just end up hurting them. Why I don`t like them? Because most of the guys that like me have differnt opinions about how to afford a life. Most of them have no studies and conform themselves with a lowpayed job and education is not important for them as it is for me. Although my family thinks i'm not a smart person, others think i`m smart (sometimes i even believe that). I'm currently studying a masters degree and working at my university but the job is not well paid and it's just temporal. It annoys me that people who have been really mean to me, like my brother, have great jobs, a love partner, etc, and I have nothing and I still live with my parents. I've never achieved many of my dreams, an I know i must work hard but sometimes I feel so sad that I have no energy to work harder. Something else is that I don't have a lot of friends and I tend to lose them due to my constant depressions and outbursts. I receive physological health, but it is hard to get better when I keep getting crap from people constantly about how ugly I am or how useless I can be. Most of my friends are pretty and when we go our they atract men, which I don't because I'm the ugly friend. What makes me ugly? I have an ugly face in general, non femenine features and my boobs are too small. Plus, I`m shy and although I try not to be, I can't change that, that's just who I am. I don't want to die alone, with a crappy job and unhappy, I can bear living with that idea in my head. My shyness also causes me to loss opportunites at work, specially in when dealing with my boss. I don't know what to do to change. I WANT TO CHANGE, I CAN'T LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE. I don't know how to do it though =(.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 30,Jul,11 02:01

you do know it is what people see you as. a fun person can go a long ways with people that wants to be around them. stop looking at your self in a bad way let god help you because he will. mark my words.
By anonymous at 30,Jul,11 05:11

god doesn't exist, god damn it
By anonymous at 31,Jul,11 02:06

Yes im sorry you are dead wrong you just have never got to experience the works that show yes he does exist sad but true you will believe after you fall to your knees in prayer. I would Love to be ther when you see the move of God that will make you a believer.
By anonymous at 09,Aug,11 03:19 Fold Up

God can not be proven nor unproven if you get my drift.
By anonymous at 09,Aug,11 03:23 Fold Up

The atheist is as bad as the believer since the atheist won't realize the possibility of God nor does the believer realize that they can know for certain God is there. Well unless they've had some true form of supernatural experience. I'm not saying I believe in the supernatural.
By anonymous at 31,Jul,11 02:07 Fold Up

Amen to that last post.
By anonymous at 01,Aug,11 22:04

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?
By anonymous at 09,Aug,11 03:30

But then if the gospels of Jesus Christ are about true happenings or even partial true happenings then remember that God could not be with Jesus when he was suffering on the cross. For some reason God could not be there with Jesus so how then is God to be here to comfort us? This would be my question. I'm thinking he can't be here. It's our responsibility to comfort and protect each other. Oh but then Jesus did say he left the comforter which is the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is part of the God head. I tend to go toward believing but I wonder about it all the time. Still I seek God and Jesus. When considering all I think it's better to believe. If you can't believe in God and/or Jesus then believe in Goodness.


By anonymous at 30,Jul,11 05:11

god doesn't exist, god damn it


By anonymous at 30,Jul,11 22:20

I know that feeling I just read a fb wall 2 days after my so called love of my life stop posting to my wall she started posting to some other wall the person she dated 16 yes ago "plus he almosted beat her to death" to his wall hope she enjoys the new lawn mower and washer & dryer


By anonymous at 01,Aug,11 09:01

God loves u no matter what, at the right time, things will fall in place!


By at 05,Aug,11 15:46

Hello, I am 24 years old and I find myself in most of your words. I can not say that I am a ugly girl, but I pay a lot for this, including money, time, stress. And finale I discover that this big effort, is for nothing, because at the end of the day I am still the loneliest person I know... For example I nomore can't go out of house without make-up a lot, make my hair, I take a lot of traditional herbal medicinal products to not grow fatt, and all this things just exhaust and tired a lot. I can't understand how some women are handsome and beautiful without making any efforts...I become very reticent, closed, introverted, and don't know exact the reasons, but for sure one of those are my parents, I live with them, I can not have my own life, have to be at them disposal when they want something, they keep tracking of everything I do, where I go, when I came back, not be late at home, who is that person and others like this. I fell I can't take no more. I become a desolate and a depressive person. I have not danced since I was 14, just gathered a lot of sadness in my heart, I fell I will explode one day. I had 2 pretty short relashionships (one and one and a half year)with 2 irresponsible men who used by me just for fun. I am sory I can't say a helpfull advice for you, but want to say that you are not alone because you think are ugly. I know and sure you know people who are pretty ugly, but they are full of guts, fulfilled in life, in love. For now I keep pretending to others that I am happy, but really don't know how long will I be able to resist...
By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 19:02

Don't be that way. Guys like confident girls, you need to believe in yourself, and i am not just saying that. Think about other things you have to offer, it is not just about your appearance. You do not need to be beautiful to be a 10. Jennifer Lopez is beautiful and great, and she is getting divorced for the third time already. Having said that, i will agree that life is much easier for beautiful people, they dont have to work as hard. But life goes on, don't settle for losers. There are some great guys out there, and i am sure you will meet one some day. Families are complicated too, mine doesnt really understand me either. They did not really provide a lot of support for me though the years, but you love them, because they are you family. Just do your own thing. I told my mom: let me make my own mistakes, even if i screw up big time, i will have no one to blame but myself, and i learn better from my own mistakes. And i do get depressed sometimes too, i had my "two bottles of wine breakdown" yesterday, it was not fun, but i woke up this morning, put on a cute dress and went to work smiling and happy looking.People dont always need to know how you really feel. good luck with everything. Hugs!
By anonymous at 16,Aug,11 16:41

well said


By anonymous at 06,Aug,11 13:39

GOD exist. you say he is not competent enough to keep the evil out of your lives...well, i say evil comes down itself to ruin our lives in form of vanity, self-pride, loathing, selfish interest.... and it just take 1 blow from god to make you realise the evil that we have allowed to creep into ourseves so comfortably.
miss i knnow it can be disheartining to feel not as pretty as ur friends or having a great figure. beautiful people are not always the happ ones . and the boundaries of yor shyness are your self-created mmonster. try to come out of your realm of comfort.


By anonymous at 08,Aug,11 16:19

I know how you feel, I have the same thing. But you have to keep trying. I'm very shy myself, but I've changed the last couple of months, and that is because I achieved some things I really wanted. So just keep in mind if you achieve some small things in life it will give you more confidence, and more confidence will help you achieve more and so on. You just have to get into a upwards spiral and you'll be okay. Also, something you should try to do is everytime you start thinking bad stuff about yourself try to change the bad stuff into good stuff. There must be something you're good at. For example, listening to people, playing an instrument, or even small things like you're good at remembering names. And when you feel bad about yourself, focus on those things. Don't let anyone take you down, cause if you really try hard you can show what you're really capable of. Which is probably more than you think yourself.


By anonymous at 09,Aug,11 14:03

Awww I'm so sad for you. I actually feel the same way, even though I don't really think I'm ugly. I hate that word anyways. I am 25 and single, and I get scared that I always will be single. It makes me sad because I always wanted to have kids, and now I don't know if I will be able to. My sister and cousin, who are not very nice women, are both married, and they have been so cruel to me in the past. I feel like they kind of taunted me about not having a boyfriend in college, and now they are married, and I'm alone. I don't know why dating and getting to know people is so hard. I just want you to know that I think I know what you are talking about and I'm so sorry, and I hope you have happy, loving relationships in your life. (Also, maybe try online dating, it can be kind of neat!)


By anonymous at 10,Aug,11 19:03

I don't have much to say ...... except two things..... first of all........everyone tells you to do this & that to feel better.......but you dont know HOW......& no one is telling you HOW. I dont know much.....I feel like you sometimes too.....but I have realized that there are ways to change whats inside......inside deep....thats where the problem is......I feel that pain.......but what is the cure.....it is actually when you take a course on watching, seeing, hearing and helping people WORSE OFF than you. Belive me. When you see the child with no legs, or the orphan, or the sick, or the poverty stricken....something starts to happen inside of you. And then when you actually help.....its like a cure. THEN you can get that confidence they are all talking about. The second thing is believe in One God, don't fall for human gods or cow gods or whatever gods, just One Unseen God that can help you.


By at 13,Aug,11 03:19

Satans da way huny
By anonymous at 23,Aug,11 23:45

whore
By anonymous at 10,Nov,11 14:34

bitch ass mother fucker


By at 13,Aug,11 03:19

Satans da way huny


By anonymous at 25,Aug,11 20:06

You have alot of things going for you. First you have an education and plans to continue that education. After you complete your Masters, you will be able to find better employment. You also may can find acting classes or some type of activity to help you with your shyness. Also it will give you something to do, and you may meet friends. Also consider getting in touch with or getting more involved with your spirituality. It will give you alot more confidence. Last, consider a make over if you feel you want to improve your appearence. Everyone has features that make them beautiful. A man is not always interested in outside beauty. There are many beautiful women that cannot keep a man. A man likes how a woman makes him feel. If you are expressing your loneliness to a man often, this may be making him retreat; not your appearence. I hope this helps, and good luck.


By anonymous at 07,Oct,11 17:50

get out of your parents home - as soon as you can- your family put you done- why are you still there? be strong to change to all around you - chanmge everything you can.


By anonymous at 10,Nov,11 14:33

i hate god


By anonymous at 24,Mar,12 20:15

Well I dont know I guess my life has always been a freaking mental health nightmare train wreck .I always worked hard in costruction trades.I never liked any of it,I was always told I was very good looking but I never had any confidence and thats what girls are looking for.I am always angry and I have the worst coping skills,so now I get disability and that was my biggest failure. I spent the last 25 years in alanon because I grew up in alcoholism both parents were. Thats the only thing in my life thats good I dont have that addiction but I got all the desructive ism and depression.Ive never had a girlfriend,never been in love and Ive had one night stands and never liked myself the next day ,so I dont do that anymore so honesty is all I have left and I'm 47 I,ve been lonly all my pathetic life I do have a great sense of humor take care


By anonymous at 18,Jun,12 20:23

I have experience a similar situation with my family growing up. I Pretty much grew up on My own and I've come this far. Now I'm married and have Everythjng I ever dreamed of. But for some reason I still feel insecure and jealous and unhappy. I sometimes feel as I might not be good for anyone. I believe all my insecurities have come along since I was a child.


By anonymous at 03,Feb,13 20:59

there is far more than a mouthful to say to all of this. But let's just start with the fact that your parents will always have an opinion. Now you must remember it is just that "an opinion" not the way you should live your life. As for being lonley, get over it. It will turn around. When? When you stop looking for it. When you are confident in you. When you realize you are a hard working dedicated woman who just hasn't yet figured out in life what path she wants to take. you will, the job will get better, friends will be true, and you would not want to fill your life with false ones anyway. you are a straight to the point kinda gal, and those around you appreciate that. Now go out and find something you love to do. Why? cuz it's fun and you deserve it!


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