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33 years and going down

Posted by Alex at June 29, 2011
Tags: Childhood  Family  2011 June

Born from parents with depression issues. Pops left when I was about 5 or so. I used to find liquor bottles "hidden" all over the house. Been beat up a few times no one was there to help me ( I'm an only child) a loner. Never got to really bond with anybody my age as such because I was always moving around. So here I am with a beautiful wife 2 children. No job, no prospects of getting a job (economy),
Wife is not working, shes on unemployment. Seems like all the desisions I make are the wrong ones. I had a job that was paying the bills while tuning me into a pint( most times more) a day alcoholic. It was killing me to work at that place. I stuck it out for 2 or so years because I had to feed my family. But it got to the point where I had to send myself home due to intoxication and not remembering how I got home a few nights. Nobody understood what I was/am going through. They say stick it out, what will there be left of me by the time something else rolls along? a drunk? So I quit. No money, I'm "Happy" cause Im not at that miserable place, but now everybody else is looking at me like I'm a crazy selfish fool.

suicide has crossed my mind, but I have to much love for my family to put them through that. I also thought about taking a loooong walk to where ever and just waiting for my day. I left out a lot of stuff, but this is where I am today.....

LIFE REALLY SUCKS. Only thing I see is tragedy day after day after day. If all I have to look forward to is more struggle and very brief glimpses of happiness, I really am read to give up on this.

Whats the point?


New Comment

By anonymous at 17,Aug,11 21:54

Don't give up never give up only you say you love the family and stuff only reason they are mad is because you quit the job yes the job is to much for you but you could try another job they just want to make sure that you and the family wont be in a really huge money problem like bills but you have to at least want to try you don't want to be bad example on the kids by quitting and doing nothing else find another job quit the drinking thing and everything should get better from there you are suppose to be the man and protector of the house please don't try to get things falling apart I know you are better than this and know you can do it if you believe and god is always there for you too if you need to talk to him want to talk more email hope you feel better don't give up you got many chance to change those whole bad thing around and maybe try being romantic to the wife and be more supportive she have no job but I'm sure she trying her best it not easy being in that situation but in the end I know you can make everything better again if you try hope everything go great for you and family

By anonymous at 18,Nov,11 01:59

Hey dude, never surrender

By Ayiz at 04,Mar,13 17:51

The best thing is to work part time on any thing so that the flow of money is at least going. Then ask yourself what is it that you rellay want to do full time? Ask a lot of questions regarding this particular job and this other job or that other one? loan processing is not a short time job to learn. You have to devote your time learning and exploring because if you made a little mistake, you'll get nothing, you could be sued, they live in commission only, especially right now that the market is hardly moving in that area. But the best, best thing is that there are school for technical in medical field that only requires18 months or 12 months and they will train you completely. There are hospitals that provide training inside their facilities and also programs with senior center to be trained inside the hospitals. There are also programs in pharmacies, maybe 18 months training. And if this rellay is not your thing, but becoming a loan officer, investigate first. I hope this could help

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