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Circling the drain

Posted by anonymous at July 1, 2011
Tags: Family  2011 July  Relationship

My life was always somewhat of struggle. My dad had an affair and ditched our family when I was 7. My mom raise us 4 kids by herself. which meant that we didn't always have $$ for decent things. She did the best she could thankfully.
Basically, my dad's side of the family pretty much rejected us.

So I was kind of a nerd in highschool and didn't date much. Same in college. It seems everytime I would try to met a girl and ask her out. I always got some story. I didn't have sex until my 20s

I finally met my soulmate. She made me move away from my family. She went to school for 10 years and I supported her. Once she got a decent job, she started to neglect me and our 2 kids. She also lost about 20 lbs and looks the best she ever has. Then she had an emotional affair that may have turned physical with her boss . When I caught her she said she wanted a divorce.

Now she wants me to move out and is probably going to divorce me once that happens. I am all alone were I live. No friends, no family (2000 miles away). My boss is a narcissistic idiot. I can't move home because of my kids.

My wife says that she want to be friends after the divorce. WTF is that? Ain't gunna happen

Soon, I will be living alone in crappy apartment, away from my sons, away from the love of my life, I'm horribly in debt and will probably never be able to buy a house and the divorce will probably ruin me.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 10,Aug,11 22:54

Life's a bitch...Fucking deal with it!!

By anonymous at 11,Aug,11 01:34

wow... that's pretty bad, man. I would try for custody of the kids.

By anonymous at 11,Aug,11 21:41

I implore you to print out what you have written here and bring it to the emergency room. You sound like you are in serious danger of killing yourself. I speak from experience: with medication and/or talk therapy you CAN feel happiness one day. And if you kill yourself, you won't get a chance to feel happy and I guarantee you will absolutely devastate at least dozens of people, some that you would never even imagine would care, beyond all belief. they will carry the burden of the pain that you are feeling for a very very long time. the grief that you will leave them with will be the worst and most complex type. they will be wracked with guilt and questions and sadness that they weren't good enough to help you in your darkest hour. and when they aren't blaming themselves--this in the midst of a terrifying grief and shock due to your untimely death-they will start to blame others in an unfair way. If you can't get help for you-please do it if you give even the tiniest shit for anyone else.

By anonymous at 16,Aug,11 01:11

From an outsider looking in, here's my opinion. I'm not talking from experience, but your story touched me, I hope you get the chance to read this. You seem like a pretty strong person, with a strong personality and a very brave heart, I always say that a man who is able to love truly is the noblest of men (and I'm not just talking about your wife, your love for your children is even more valuable, trust me. There is no rock bottom in life. NO SUCH THING. When you hit the so-called "rock bottom" there's nowhere else to go but up. All you can do now is just work on becoming a better person, a better parent, a better soul. Who knows, maybe you will find someone who is worth your loving more than this wife of yours. And maybe one day you will become "better" than her, where you would be able to provide for your children more than her (not just money-wise). Nothing is worth giving up for in this world. Only God is worth the struggle, if you believe in Him. Imagine this a new chapter. Now, start writing! Good luck :)

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