LIFE SUCKS

my life sucks

i am 15 years old girl and my family is pretty messed up. my mom cheated on my dad and was giving him (her lover) our money so we couldn't really afford many things.
and also i have a big sister who is perfect and is pretty and smart and popular so everyone expects me to be like her but i am not like her. i am shy and i am not as pretty as her. also i dont have friends all my friends like my sister so they become my friends and anyway i dont trust anybody. my best friend and i had many problems and she turned against me and made fun of me with the other girls. and also my sister is going to collage next year in a very good collage but i dont have any chances to go to a decent collage and also i loved a boy and told my sister that i love him but she took him and he became her boyfriend and now they kiss infront of me and all. she told me that i will never find someone like him. i am poor and my father used to hit me when i was little so i am pretty messed up. all the people compare me to her and i feel like i am walking in her shadow. i dont have anything specail. i cant sing but my sister has a great voice. i dont have the looks but my sister has. i am shy while she is very brave. she writes stories while i cant write at all. i began to believe that i will fail even if i try and she will always succeed. so i always say whatever and dont give a shit about anything anymore.