LIFE SUCKS

Blah!,Hating Everything.Com

My Life sucks beucase i have a problem of thinking too much.
I cant forget the things that has happen to me in my life no matter how hard i try
When i was younger i was Molested by my older cousin after that i soon developed an addiction to porn.When i was being molested I knew it was wrong but it took me years to tell,after being molested so much i hate to admit but i started to like it and become interested in sex.The feeling i use to get after watching porn was very disgusting and gross i would literally feel like shit.
i decided about 2years ago i had to stop and thats what i did
with few relapses from time to time but ultimately i was kind've proud of myself.
I think about the porn,molestation,sex e v e r y single day.
when i was in elementary,middle school,and freshman year of high school
i was constantly having feelings of insecurity of my weight and not being enough i had always been told that when i was around my good looking friends that i was the odd ball out.i felt it too.
after being told that constantly i started having thoughts of suicide but wasn't serious about it. The summer of 8th grade year my uncle was killed and i had never dealt with a death in my family becuase everyone in my family had died way before i was born.I had just seen my uncle so i couldn't fathom how he could be here one day and gone the next.I was always the type of person to not really express my feelings ultimately i had no one to talk to.
My mom walked out on my sister and I around this time
i needed her so much ,my friends were and still are not there for me
i tried to commit suicide it didn't work.
I went to therapy and all that did was furthermore make me depressed
now im sitting in my room trying to forget once again.to no avail i remember everything.