every single morning i wake up at 7 am, i am immediately greeted by my mother yelling at me about how i am so lazy and i need to get up and start working out, clean the house, look for a job, and if its not done by the time she gets back from work, im the laziest most worthless and useless thing in her life. my brother and nephew can lay around all day and she wont say a word to them, except maybe if they want something to eat. no matter how hard i try to help her out with everything, and i am the only one who helps her out, she doesn't care, because to her i am nothing but a fat, ugly disgusting poor excuse for a human being. she cant stand looking at me, overtime she does she makes a comment about how ugly i am, and compares me to everyone else. why cant i be like them, why cant i be pretty and thin like the rest of the kids. I suppose she is right i am useless, i don't know anything about anything, i don't have a job, i don't have any friends no one to talk to at all. my mom says i don't have anyone because of how i look and she's right again. i know how i am, but i just get so tired of hearing it i guess, it still hurts every time. the doctors say i need to be committed in a psychiatric facility because of how fucked up i am, they say im a danger to myself and others, i guess its true, but i cant even tell my mom about it, she and the rest of my family would think i was a pussy or something. i wish my dad was still alive, i miss him so much. he was the only one who seemed to kinda like having me around, and was always proud of me no matter how insignificant my accomplishment was. but he's not here anymore. i hope that today is the last day im alive. i don't know how much longer i can take this.