i dont understand why these stupid things happen to me and me only.....
i have a family,my dad .mom and an elder brother who always misuse me....well not only him but almost everyone in my family misuses me..i am not that ugly to look at...but am not beautiful too.....
well my life problem is not about being ugly or beautiful,misused or well used....my problem is that,people around me are more than ME.
they are extra lucky,extra active,extra intelligent,...in a word extraordinary.
i am 19 years old and i always get scolding from everyone....when i do mistakes and even when there is no fault of mine.is being soft and patient really wrong???they always want to poke their nose into my life....am i not supposed to do what i must do??is it that important for me to take their comment(or advice as per their view) for everything that is going on in my life?i am sick of running around like a fool......i am poor at studies,i have completed my high school and yes i am not eligible for an UG course......and it's bugging me a lot.
where ever i go i get insulted by everyone for not understanding what they say....they scold me as if i am some 6yr old......no doc could help me with this and i am totally broken....
this isn't their fault i guess......coz i am good at NOTHING......i dont know to sing,dance,understand,communicate,behave and i am not even a nerd or geek......all i do in my life is just yell on everybody around for treating me like 'MISS.NOBODY'......
I AM NOT MISS.NOBODY...AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IT...NOT EVEN MYSELF....COS ITS REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND THE THING WHICH DOSEN'T EXIST.....i am a nobody.....i dont know what is the RIGHT thing for me to do in this life.....my heart just says no to everything..........
i thought of living alone so that i could find an answer for my life if i get some time to know myself...but NO....i couldn't live alone.......i am not capable of defending myself against the selfishness,cruelty and braveness of the world....infact i was chased by an old mad man once.....and also a stray dog.....thank god i ran......
i have tried to end my life so that i wouldn't have to trouble my parents anymore but of no use.....god dosen't want me to die either......what does this life want to do with me???whhy does it torture me soo much with little things......???i want to know the purpose of my life.....i really want to know more of myself........i am a moron no doubt......i hate myself and my life a lot..... | |