I'm 13. I spend most my life in my room, no one likes me and all I do is be nice and supportive and I receive hate in return. I am starting to hate everything in existence and am wondering if religion is real because I go to church and pray but my life gets worse. My parents are nice but my mom is never home anymore, and they were way too easy on me and never punished me so I didn't learn right from wrong till about 6th grade. My dad is depressed and unemployed and every time I try to hug him, he seems disappointed in me. All I want is friends and my parents to be proud of me. I am different than everyone, I don't wear the same clothes, listen to the same music and for that people treat me as an outcast. When I go to school, I hope I get suspended so I don't have to deal with the pain and irritation of people laughing in your face while they think I don't notice. People don't talk to me. My only 2 friends use me and treat me like shit and I always just want to stay in my room. I ignore them because when I'm with them, I always say something stupid on accident because my dad tells me I have impulse so I can't think before I act. If God is real, why can't he just send me to Hell, it can't be worse than my life. I know I might sound like I'm exaggerating but I can't deal with this shit.