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A little more regretful everyday

Posted by anonymous at July 30, 2011
Tags: 2011 July  Relationship

Three years ago my husband and I separated.... I say separated but in reality he left me pregnant and homeless because he found someone who would worship his mediocrity and suck his penis while she did it.... about a year after this debacle and the loss of our (my) child because of stress and malnutrition... we started talking again. I had moved (obviously... I didn't have a home anymore so I moved in with my sister and amazingly enough found a high school teaching position... anyway)and he was living in LA... he had jumped from woman to woman and was unhappy.... I was recovering from postpartum depression and the loss of a newborn, and we "worked it out"...
He made a bunch of promises he didn't intend to keep, and I pretended that I believed him.
Flash forward two years and he has improved... a little. He is still the center of his own universe, but at least now he tell me he didn't mean to hurt my feelings when he does fucked up shit....
I'm going to school full time as a career change ( oh yeah... I quit my nice teaching job because he moved in with me and wasn't happy in the town we lived in... because even though he watches "Survivor man" like a child watches mickey... he HATES living outside of a city... and I had moved to the wilds of Monatana... which I loved, but I realized that in order or him to stop drinking like a fish we were going to have to move to a city... which meant I was going to have to find another job) I've been accepted to the Midwifery program at Oregon Health and Science University... awesome!... except I don't have my own money... he works full time .
Before you start feeling bad for him because he works full time... we live with my father... he serves about 35 hours a week. he complains about having to spend any money outside of outdoors shit that he'll never use... he spends his free time playing video games and whining when I ask him to clean the toilet.
Not a day goes by, I don't regret just not answering the phone when he called... just letting bygones be bygones... not being so pathetic ad depressed and lonely and realizing things would feel better eventually....
I earn no money... but I will when I graduate which is my little beacon of hope.
As SOON as I can pay for it myself... I'm divorcing his ass!
my family won't help me anymore than they do... and I would NEVER ask them to pay for my mistakes...
But I have 3 more years until I'm done....
My life sucks
Big time!


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 September 23, 2011

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