My life is pretty stagnant, boring, uneventful, don't have any real friends or a girl friend, and recently got laid off from my job. My job was shit, but it gave me motivation and something to do at least. Now I've got to endure being me, sat at home unemployed with my parents. By the way I'm 22, people keep saying: "Oh you're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you! Do whatever you want!" Okay that would work providing I had a job, a more decent personality and much more confidence. Right now I am a shell of the man I used to be. I had a lot of friends and every single one of them fucked me over, man looking back on it I was a push over, I was so fucking innocent and naive and just let my "friends" shit all over me. I got used for money, I got used for lifts (I was the only one out of my circle of friends who could drive), I even got used for petty things like buying drinks at the bar. I wised up to it and when I stopped being mr nice guy, they all vanished like a fart in the wind. I do have interests I'm dead into heavy metal, but we live in a society where the majority of people only listen to the radio. The few metal-heads I do know listen to stuff I really cannot stand like Slipknot or Throwdown, I wont go into my personal tastes, but let's just say I only meet people with similar tastes at festivals. And even then I haven't been to a festival for two years! As for my love life I have had my fair share of girl friends to be honest, but it's like I have forgotten how to act around a women. I've gotten rusty, to the point where I actually don't know what to say, which adds to further embarassment. I need half a bottle of vodka before I can even get close to a girl, which is pathetic in itself...cannot believe I have started avoiding women.
The other week I got so bored, went down to my local bar and got shit faced completely alone. I fell of my bar stall, made a complete dick of myself, and the walk home was the longest most depressing walk of my life. So I don't drink alone in public now, it wouldn't have taken a genius to figure that was going to be a recipe for disaster, but I have after all lost all standards. So nowadays the only time I go out, is when I have to go down the job centre and claim my measily £50 a week, and put up with all the staff that think I'm not looking for work, even though I am probably one of a handful in that place who is actually trying to get work. I'm lost and completely alone, don't have enough money to live, and even if I did you need to get a life before you start living. I cannot honestly say how life suddenly got this bad, it just creeped up on me. Five years ago I was happy. Now I'm a wreck, and I do not even have it as bad as some on here. The realities of the working class world is too much for me, especially when I am all alone. It's not just about getting a girl friend, I want at least one friend to hang with.