I hate my life, utterly and completely. I am Sisyphus incarnate. I am 25 and live with my parents. I have no employable skills and lack at least 3 good years on a degree. Why? Because I've changed majors more times than a snake sheds it's skin. Why? Because I hate everything, I'm bored of everything, and I can find no hope or passion in any of the things I see myself spending my life doing. They are all pointless, meaningless labors without reward or end.
What's worse is that if I found a decent job I have no friends with whom I might move in, much less a partner. Which means that I would have to find a REALLY good job to move out on my own... alone. The few people I do know don't seem to really give a damn if I live or die. My phone never rings, and when I do manage to work up the balls to call someone they more often than not don't answer my call or text, or they just respond with the bare minimum. I don't blame them, I hate them all & I'm sure they pick up on that. I despise them for being able to have relationships and feel happiness. I don't really even want a relationship though, as I've become painfully aware that regardless what happens it ends in tragedy. In fact, the better it goes, the worse it'll be.
I can see no hope for any happiness in my future. I hate everybody and they all hate me. I have no concept of how, much less ability, to speak romantically to a woman. The one relationship I've ever had was with a girl who initiated both the relationship and sex, and that only lasted for three months... and I almost killed myself afterward. I think the fear of getting hurt and the fear of failure combine to grant me a nice tonic of fear, self-loathing, and despair that I'll ever find a girl with whom I could have a relationship with anyway, as I especially despise the ever-popular "pretty-in-pink" girls so prevalent where I live.
I'm depressed and think every day that I should just end my life so that my professional athlete, younger brother who runs his own gym and has girls calling him constantly, to the point that he complains... to me, believing I am sympathetic, can inherit whatever our parents might leave us when they die. Though I'm pretty sure that even they only kind of like me out of familial obligation.
What's worse is that I honestly believe that not only am I damned, but that the human race (lot of stupid monkeys we are) will inevitably wipe itself out.
I have no hope. Every future I see is either bleak or just generally horrible. I honestly don't know, intellectually, why I haven't just rolled over and refused to eat until I die. I'm eternally angry, depressed, bored, and empty.