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Why

Posted by Sammy at August 5, 2011
Tags: 2011 August  Death  Tragic Events

I thought that my life was going so well. I was happy, looking after my brothers two kids and well happy. I don't know why but I was chosen to end a life. When I think back now, I had two warnings that something was going to happen but I was not to know.

I was at home with my mum looking after my niece and nephew whating for my other nephew to come over from school. Once we were all inside, I had to run out somewhere. I was reversing down the driveway and I ran over something, I thought that it must had been a toy or what ever. So I didn't stop until I was able to see what it was though my side mirror.

She was my only niece, 18 months old, laying there. I ran over her and she was dead. It's been just over two years now and I still remember the look on my sister's face and the words that she said to me.

How dose someone live with that. I see my sister every day and most days she still dose not talk to me. And why should she, I couldn't do the one thing that I was meant to do. To look after her daughter.

I live with this every day 24/7, and I feel that I should have to keep the pain, I will never forgive my self. I know that I am currently needed to be around now, but hopefully soon one day she will never have to see me every again. For I have nothing to live for, so I just wait for it all to end.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 24,Sep,11 23:44

it was an accident, as much as it sucks, it was an accident.


By anonymous at 25,Sep,11 00:32

Like the previous commenter said, it was an accident.


By anonymous at 30,Sep,11 23:35

WOW. That really does suck. That is the worst thing I have read on this website! I hope one day you will learn to forgive yourself.


By anonymous at 14,Oct,11 14:41

Im so sorry...that is just a tragedy...worst thing i have read on this sight by far..unimaginable I will think of you.


By anonymous at 30,Oct,11 03:13

You NEED to forgive yourself. You did not do this on purpose. Your sister is not making it easier by not talking to you, but you didn't say when this happened. Sometimes time will heal things.

Did you consider going to counselling with your sister? You really need this I think. Keeping everything inside is the hardest thing to do. Do you express your pain or do you hide it?

I do believe in time your sister will forgive you. If she doesn't, you need to move on and try hard to think of other things in your life. I know us depressed people we dwell on our thoughts. YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOURSELF. We are human, life happens, it's not perfect. We wish it was, but it isn't. Find a purpose, help someone out on here. Do good for others, you will feel better. Just keep doing good, you will see how good it is for you. The world needs your help. You know what it is to feel intense pain and can help others. You can help me. Love someone. Help someone.

Please come back and let me know if I've helped. I too am suffering from depression and need to know the world sees me and needs me.


By anonymous at 07,Nov,11 05:30

Accident! And remember, an emotional scar is always easier to deal with than a physical scar. Time will heal.


By CynusMom at 21,Nov,11 22:19

I'm so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this tragedy. Please know and remind yourself that if you knew of anything at all that could have prevented this accident, of course you would have! You would NEVER had intended this and if you could turn back time, of course, you would. You need to forgive yourself. Talk to a therapist...let yourself heal from this completely unintentional accident. I care about you, I'm so sorry...life is really unfair sometimes. and again, you need to remind yourself that you would have prevented this if you knew and because of that you should forgive yourself.


By at 26,Nov,11 03:09

Free knowledge like this doesn't just help, it prmotoe democracy. Thank you.


By anonymous at 13,Apr,12 02:20

my brother would have killed me. At least your family forgives you .


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