I bought my first home in August. Was laid off in November from a Capitalist pig who makes 350K per year while raking in another 96K for a bonus while his shit ass workers make nothing. Applied for unemployment. Forget calling them, you can't get through. I have sent out over 200 resumes since November and interviewed twice. Didn't get either job. I was told there were hundreds of applicants for the position, I should feel lucky I was called for an interview. Been in school working on my degree. Graduate in 6 months and not sure how I am going to pay my school loans. Over qualified for the job I can do and underqualified for jobs that require my degree. Have absoultely NO money and feel like jumping off a bridge. Life sucks and for most of my life I have felt in general life is just one big fricken waste of time. | |
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I am in the same situation as you and I have said this so many times that I must sound like a broken record on here, but anything to TRY and make you feel better or at least feel like someone can relate. Here it goes.
I had a wonderful job that I got, back in June of 2008. All I have to say is that it was WONDERFUL! loved it! all of the sudden the census at the hospital I worked at was getting lower and lower and lower. I had been hearing ALOT OF news that relative hospitals elsewhere have laid off TONS of people (it made it to the newspaper) and I was crossing my fingers hoping it would not reach mine. Well it did. I was given only two more weeks to work. at first I didn’t want to because I was too depressed. but I took all the rest of the days I could. I was laid off in August of 2009 so I really didn’t get to work there long.
I was REALLY, REALLY depressed. I didn’t smile for days, I tried to put myself in danger so that something could happen to me, I blamed God, I asked him why give me a job where I could only work during a short period of time, I told God that it was his biggest mistake to ever allow me to live. I did and said all these things over a freaken job! At the time I felt vulnerable because my job was my security, my way that things will be done and paid for. Now I have nothing. We're in a recession, what job around me is going to hire me? There are billions of people around me and only a handful of jobs. I held a grudge against the hospital, I kept convincing myself that they abandoned me because was no longer important to them. This system of being laid off is disgusting! You would think that as smart and intelligent as human beings are, someone would think up of another way instead of companies turning their back on workers who’ve KEPT their company alive and running.
Like you, I’m in school too, working on TWO majors, so I have DOUBLE pay then you when it comes to student loans. But last semester I went through an even bigger depression. My student loans didn’t come in which was suppose to pay for FOUR classes. I tried to call the financial office but like the Unemployment, they NEVER pick up. Its always the answering machine! And it really pissed me off!!!! So I had no choice but to use what was left of my student loans in my account to only pay for THREE classes.
All the money I ever had was now gone. So once I got to school to buy my books, turns out only TWO out of THREE were 400 freaken dollars. Keep in my mind I had a $465 hospital bill that arrived at my home on the same day that I tried to get in contact with the financial office. So anyway when I realized how much the books were, I had no choice but to drop out for the semester and I was really depressed because I didn’t want my doctors bills to grow, grow and grow. When I came home, my parents found out. Dad tried to warn me that my lender will start billing me now, because they think I’ve dropped out of school completely. Well, the bills came, I got a letter in the mail from them saying that they are on their way. To top it off, I had OTHER doctor bills (THREE-digit bills) coming. I was going mad. I wanted to kill myself. It’s like all I kept getting was bad news, one worse than the other.
When I got the refund from school, I put 998 bucks back in the bank. Gave 300 to my parents because they were in debt, spent the rest on doctor bills. Mad as hell! Its like I can’t leave my student loans ALONE for the sole purpose of school ONLY because somebody either always needs it or I need to pay for something else. I owe myself over 2000 in student loans, loans that didn’t even pay for class or books, instead it was for other bills.
Somehow I got myself out of that mess, its hard to remember anything because I was just really depressed and craving death. Another refund came from the school around 1700, so I hurried and put that in the bank. Turns out I made a mistake on my application when I filled out the student loan, so they stopped my loans from coming. I had to the go to the office and told them to fix it! This was a lesson learned! Now I’m a full time student again this semester and the bills have stopped.
Now when it comes to jobs, I’ve been filling out applications back and forth. I made an account on Snagajob.com that tells me or notifies me on what jobs are available in my area. Because of them, I’ve gotten two interview offers. So the site does work and the site gives me tons of jobs to fill out, but most were just fast food, so I tried to pick wisely. JC Penny called me within a DAY of my application being submitted to this site and long story short they made me go up there THREE times for interviews that didn’t even last 10 minutes. I liked all my interviewers accept for the last and I really think it was HER that caused me to lose the job opportunity.
The reason I feel that way is because when she called me for a third interview I asked her politely WHY are there three and she said.
“Because that’s what the store does.” It was the WAY she said, as if I wasn’t suppose to ask the question or as if I was dumb to not know the answer to the question. So since she explained it in such a weird tone of voice that made me feel stupid, I was just silent over the phone for a while until she said something else. I had never heard of a three-interview course, that’s why I asked the freaken question and I think it is dumb as hell! So because so much time, energy and money was wasted on THEM, I was bitter for days. I would have been able to rub it off if it was a one-day interview, maybe even two-day interview, but making me go up there three times for a job I may or may not get was horrible. I’m kinda glad that I don’t work for such a place.
I went to ULTA store and had a very short interview with them. This woman asked me very tough questions such as “what was the biggest thing you had to do for a customer?” or
“when was the last time you went out of your way to make a customer feel satisfied.” Just stuff like that, I hate survey-like questions because 9 out of 10 when you’re working with customers, you just want to ring up the items and get them out of your face because the job is already stressful enough. WHO goes out of their way to kiss the customer’s feet? I mean really? She also accused me that since I hated fast food, she thought I wasn’t ready for retail, thus I didn’t get the job. I dragged my father all the way out here just to be turned down by a woman who wouldn’t give me a chance.
I also dragged my mother around for HOURS filling out LOADS of applications to stores that SAY they were hiring and SAID that they needed someone for this shift or that shift. I didn’t hear anything from them at all.
Online, I’ve filled out applications for many, many days, its like NOTHING matters! Nothing you ever do matters! Its like what am I doing wrong? Why isn’t anyone giving me a chance, why are things so difficult? Have you ever been SOOOOOO angry, so stressed out and so bitter that you just don’t know what to do? Or you fear what you might do next? that’s how I felt after I realized that everything I did was hopeless. So I stopped.
You may not believe in God but I do, so I actually went to the 700 club website and I submitted in my story and let them know how sad and angry I was that I just can’t find a job.. About two days later, they sent me the most powerful message I had ever received and for some reason, it really lifted a burden off my chest.
Now, I don’t search for jobs anymore, I’m just going to wait. Is it hard? YES! Hell yes it’s hard! But its not as hard as it was a few months ago. Its all about trust, is all about believing and accepting that God knows what’s best. I also found out a few days ago from a fellow co-worker that this person doesn’t like my boss either, at first I thought I was the only one who sort of felt really strange about her because before this boss ever came, I had the most wonderful boss in the world, who interviewed me and DIDN’T judge me and didn’t ask hard question. All she did was fill me in on what the job was about, OFFERED to change my schedule if I needed to and I was willing to get me to a comfortable spot, she hired me in less than 24 hours. But after a few months she moved out of the city to another job and I and my co-workers got another boss. My mother strongly feels that if my former boss was still there, she would have done everything in her power to try and keep me there. So after learning how this other co-worker felt, my mother told me that I maybe it was for the best that I’m not there right now.
Maybe you’re not getting these jobs because these jobs may make your life a living hell, maybe the wrong people will be there, maybe you wont be treated fairly. Or maybe somebody else who beat you to the job needed it more than you did. There are ALL kinds of reasons on why we don’t get our way but we never stop and think “is it for the best? Do I really want this and that?” we’re also too busy staring at the door that is closing don’t even noticed that another door is opening.
I will pray that God will show you some kind of destination. Just hang in there! And understand that there are millions of people right now who KNOW how you feel, especially mothers and fathers who can’t provide for their children like they could a few years back.
HANG IN THERE!
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