im a 27yo man. i first learnt my father was a pedophile having sex with my sisters when i was 8. he found out i knew shortly after. he beat on me every day, one time hanging me with the kettle cord wrapped around my neck when i was 10. my mother fled the country with the lover she had met and took my youngest sister with her when she was 8. my eldest sister was moved into my fathers bed. she fled the country 7months later. my second eldest sister took her place in the bed. one time he got her pregnant and it was put to me by him to make the descision to keep it or not. the only time i know i deffinetly made the right descision which was NO. i feel shameful to this day that i used it to a degree as a bargaining chip to let my father know i still smoked. i was 15 at the time. i could not leave though i knew i was not welcome there and i raised myself from the age of 14. leaving my sister to that existance alone was not an option, so i stayed. ive had my nose broken a few times, fingers broken, a cracked skull even. my sister to ease her existence accepted her lot in life acted the dutiful "wife" until she grew to old for my father. this was when she was 21 and i was 19. i developed an aggresive drug addiction at the age of 21 when i couldnt handle being so unhappy with the way my life had gone so far. i was an isolated person who knew that everyone i looked at (barring my sisters) had it better than me, no matter how bad they infact thought they had it. i was smoking a 1/4 of weed every 2days and smoking grams of ice a week and popping as many pills as i could find staying awake for days upon days only to sleep for several hours only and do it all again. i went from 145kgs to 70kgs in 12 months. i went to the police when i was 24 to confess to them my childhood horrors. i told them where they could find the polaroids of my sisters my father had taken. all the hard drives laying around that were full of the child pornography that he would masterbate to all day everyday- as a child my room was in the same room as the computer but this wouldnt stop him from that. nor would my sleeping on the top bunk stop him from fucking my sister on the bottom bunk in the middle of the night. however, the police told me i was not a victim so couldnt lay a complaint and so nothing was done. i would have to seek my own justice. i decided i would kill my father, something i wish i had done earlier in life when i would be certain to get off murder charges. i proceeded to increase my intake of drugs, making sure when i finally did it i was burnt out enough to not care if i was kissing any potential for happiness in life away. i should mention now that i had fled his house the year before after coming home from work to find a butchers knife stuck thru my bedroom door.
but then my mother moved back to this country with my youngest sister. she of course knew what my father was to a degree, my sister who fled after her told her, but nothing was done then. they all got to live the good life over seas while me and my second eldest sister suffered. after listening to them one day talking like they knew life was like while they were gone. so i informed them and of my grand intention. the sleepless nights this caused them gave me a little satisfaction. my mother made my youngest sister make a report to the police. it was mostly a fabrication but it was to get the ball rolling so they would want to question me so it was of little consequence at the time. and interview me they did. i forced my sister who was still in contact with my father like nothing had happened to talk to the police to. she was getting married and didnt want her would be husband to know of the monster she was exposing him to. it is a very shameful experience. my eldest sister over seas even pitched in her little bit, it could have been more but at least it was something- she has a husband and 2 kids and didnt want to stir old demons. everyone had gotten over it except me. i was left to obsess about it my entire life that i can recollect. he was charged with 24 charges each carrying a 20 year sentence. 480 years i thought!
he was given 12years and parole chances at 10years.
i dont wanna sound greedy here but after that you tend to look for a silver ligning and that was victims of crime compensation. this was resolved yesterday for me, the last chapter to a 27 year horror story. i had built so many hopes around the fact i should be getting compensated like my sisters. as it turned out i didnt qaulify for compensation. my youngest sister, who fabricated her statement to the police, who blammed our father who she hadnt seen since she had just turned 8 and cant remember alot about him, for all that was wrong with her life when she was just a fat ginger emo 21 year old goin through normal young person angst, she got 30,000$ for a life time of my mysery. sure the other sisters earnt it btu she got to live with another much better father and got raised an nly child with the spoils that go with it. i got nothing for engineering his demise. for a life time of trying to right a wrong at least 3 other people who were older than a scared 8 year old boy should have righted first. while they got to move on and get husbands, have children and forget all they forgot what i was forced by morality to go thru with them. so now i begin my new life of freedom from this chapter with a burnt out brain and no money- fortunately no more addictions ( i kicked them a couple years ago) which is 1 of the only possitives to this.
this story is 100% true. you cant fake this. it says to tell my story about how life sucks. i honestly dont think many people can beat this. if you get to this point and your intention was to write about how your life sucked, i think you can see that could have been worse.life does suck, for people who are destined to travel the painful roads, learning lifes worst lessons. the important thing is that you look for the tiniest bit of good from the situation. the wisdom each sucky moment brings is worth 1million kisses so long as you know how to extract that wisdom from the moment and not give into your despair. i waited from the age of 8 till the age of 27 to complete this goal of mine. the thought of suicide was a joke after a year of feeling terrible over my lot in life. what was the point of goin through that first year of it if i was gonna quit along the way after that year? life sucks but it is also long and also it is what you make of it. it really does make me sad that a 17 year old would be contemplating suicide even a 15 year old. but i also think survival of the fitest is natures law and the weak arent to be mourned. good luck with all your apparent material problems.