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true story

Posted by youthinkyouhaveproblems? at February 16, 2010
Tags: Abuse  Drugs  Family  2010 February  Justice

im a 27yo man. i first learnt my father was a pedophile having sex with my sisters when i was 8. he found out i knew shortly after. he beat on me every day, one time hanging me with the kettle cord wrapped around my neck when i was 10. my mother fled the country with the lover she had met and took my youngest sister with her when she was 8. my eldest sister was moved into my fathers bed. she fled the country 7months later. my second eldest sister took her place in the bed. one time he got her pregnant and it was put to me by him to make the descision to keep it or not. the only time i know i deffinetly made the right descision which was NO. i feel shameful to this day that i used it to a degree as a bargaining chip to let my father know i still smoked. i was 15 at the time. i could not leave though i knew i was not welcome there and i raised myself from the age of 14. leaving my sister to that existance alone was not an option, so i stayed. ive had my nose broken a few times, fingers broken, a cracked skull even. my sister to ease her existence accepted her lot in life acted the dutiful "wife" until she grew to old for my father. this was when she was 21 and i was 19. i developed an aggresive drug addiction at the age of 21 when i couldnt handle being so unhappy with the way my life had gone so far. i was an isolated person who knew that everyone i looked at (barring my sisters) had it better than me, no matter how bad they infact thought they had it. i was smoking a 1/4 of weed every 2days and smoking grams of ice a week and popping as many pills as i could find staying awake for days upon days only to sleep for several hours only and do it all again. i went from 145kgs to 70kgs in 12 months. i went to the police when i was 24 to confess to them my childhood horrors. i told them where they could find the polaroids of my sisters my father had taken. all the hard drives laying around that were full of the child pornography that he would masterbate to all day everyday- as a child my room was in the same room as the computer but this wouldnt stop him from that. nor would my sleeping on the top bunk stop him from fucking my sister on the bottom bunk in the middle of the night. however, the police told me i was not a victim so couldnt lay a complaint and so nothing was done. i would have to seek my own justice. i decided i would kill my father, something i wish i had done earlier in life when i would be certain to get off murder charges. i proceeded to increase my intake of drugs, making sure when i finally did it i was burnt out enough to not care if i was kissing any potential for happiness in life away. i should mention now that i had fled his house the year before after coming home from work to find a butchers knife stuck thru my bedroom door.
but then my mother moved back to this country with my youngest sister. she of course knew what my father was to a degree, my sister who fled after her told her, but nothing was done then. they all got to live the good life over seas while me and my second eldest sister suffered. after listening to them one day talking like they knew life was like while they were gone. so i informed them and of my grand intention. the sleepless nights this caused them gave me a little satisfaction. my mother made my youngest sister make a report to the police. it was mostly a fabrication but it was to get the ball rolling so they would want to question me so it was of little consequence at the time. and interview me they did. i forced my sister who was still in contact with my father like nothing had happened to talk to the police to. she was getting married and didnt want her would be husband to know of the monster she was exposing him to. it is a very shameful experience. my eldest sister over seas even pitched in her little bit, it could have been more but at least it was something- she has a husband and 2 kids and didnt want to stir old demons. everyone had gotten over it except me. i was left to obsess about it my entire life that i can recollect. he was charged with 24 charges each carrying a 20 year sentence. 480 years i thought!
he was given 12years and parole chances at 10years.
i dont wanna sound greedy here but after that you tend to look for a silver ligning and that was victims of crime compensation. this was resolved yesterday for me, the last chapter to a 27 year horror story. i had built so many hopes around the fact i should be getting compensated like my sisters. as it turned out i didnt qaulify for compensation. my youngest sister, who fabricated her statement to the police, who blammed our father who she hadnt seen since she had just turned 8 and cant remember alot about him, for all that was wrong with her life when she was just a fat ginger emo 21 year old goin through normal young person angst, she got 30,000$ for a life time of my mysery. sure the other sisters earnt it btu she got to live with another much better father and got raised an nly child with the spoils that go with it. i got nothing for engineering his demise. for a life time of trying to right a wrong at least 3 other people who were older than a scared 8 year old boy should have righted first. while they got to move on and get husbands, have children and forget all they forgot what i was forced by morality to go thru with them. so now i begin my new life of freedom from this chapter with a burnt out brain and no money- fortunately no more addictions ( i kicked them a couple years ago) which is 1 of the only possitives to this.
this story is 100% true. you cant fake this. it says to tell my story about how life sucks. i honestly dont think many people can beat this. if you get to this point and your intention was to write about how your life sucked, i think you can see that could have been worse.life does suck, for people who are destined to travel the painful roads, learning lifes worst lessons. the important thing is that you look for the tiniest bit of good from the situation. the wisdom each sucky moment brings is worth 1million kisses so long as you know how to extract that wisdom from the moment and not give into your despair. i waited from the age of 8 till the age of 27 to complete this goal of mine. the thought of suicide was a joke after a year of feeling terrible over my lot in life. what was the point of goin through that first year of it if i was gonna quit along the way after that year? life sucks but it is also long and also it is what you make of it. it really does make me sad that a 17 year old would be contemplating suicide even a 15 year old. but i also think survival of the fitest is natures law and the weak arent to be mourned. good luck with all your apparent material problems.


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 16,Feb,10 22:05

Wow. I know it was horrible...obviously. Now you have the opportunity to put it all behind you. You can look forward, not back. You cannot change anything in the past, but you can change what you do with the rest of your life. I hope you make wise decisions. I hope you find love and happiness. It is there for you, but you must put away the anger and bitterness and become a better person than those in your past. You can do it.


By anonymous at 17,Feb,10 11:57

Dont Go After Revenge It Will Only Hurt U, AnyThing U Wll Do will have its consequence and turn back at u , u realy had it bad all of ur life but now with no sister to worry about u can finally move on help ur self to improve u still have a life time ahead of u all u need to do is let go of the horrible past and live it in the future ... dnt let your negative life make you a negative person try to see and act positively....be positive gd luck


By robbie at 18,Feb,10 20:03

FUCK THAT!!!! He fucked your sisters. He deserves to die. But not quickly. A very painful, slow death. Start by pulling each finger nail off , then each toenail. Then a little bit of each finger and so on. I don't believe in GOD and this is why. If there was a GOD , shit like this would not happen. And that crap about everything happening for a reason, that is bullshit. Even if this somehow made the victims strong, which I highly doubt without the help of a lot of therapy, I believe that there are other ways that people can be strong. THEREE IS NO FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


By anonymous at 18,Feb,10 20:11

Now you know what not to be in life. I dont know how the sisters who slept in his bed like his wife could go on, you were beat and you deserve some cash, but its not that much.. you dont want that dirty shit. This should have been brought to the fucking cops by your cunt mother. I dont know what country you live in that they would do jack shit after you told them! move out of that fucking country coz its bullshit, just get the fuck out of there. i dont know how you can be sane, but dont ever fuck your children. i hope youd never do that that is fucking so fucking damn evil ugh it infuriates me.


By anonymous at 18,Feb,10 20:12

ps fuck you to the smart fucking ass you put not that bad. you sick dirty fuck.


By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 10:05

yea fuck i was sexually abused by ma brother, i know how it feels shit.
By anonymous at 12,Apr,10 05:23

ahahahahaahahahahahahahahaah
By anonymous at 12,Dec,10 02:39

Apparently the dude that is laughing also did, but just doesn't know how to handle his emotions in an appropriate way. Some people laugh when they are uncomfortable or in a bad situation. Am sure he didn't mean it.


By anonymous at 03,Mar,10 22:12

I have met many hookers and they all tell me the same story. Physical abuse, including rape, by their parents, is not a problem. They get over it. The cruelest abuse is psychological because you do not get over it. The only revenge is to move on. Leave all you troubles behind you. Forget vengeance, just move on. Ignoring your abusers is the cruelest revenge of all. They become non-entities. Think about it. I left home at 18 and never spoke to my parents since then. My sister told me that my mother recently died, after I did not talk to her in 30 years. I felt nothing. My father is in a old folks home. I hope he dies like a dog. When he does, I will feel nothing. Like every year since 1995, I am looking forward to Labor Day, and the "Burning Man Project".


By anonymous at 09,Mar,10 22:58

I dont know if its just the white european culture, but this sort of thing seems to happen alot more then in my culture (middle eastern). But on the rare occasions it does happen in the family, that family member is killed point blank, regardless if it means going to jail..those sick fucks dont deserve to live..we are very family orientated and if a member of the family is dishonored in any way there are severe repercussions.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,10 02:41

It happens in every culture. It's just taboo to talk about it in your culture, so it might seem like it never happens in yours. Men are sick and twisted from every culture.


By anonymous at 28,Mar,10 07:51

your sick dad really deserves to go to hell. he should be dead.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,10 02:42

Dad? "Sick dad?". That man is not a "dad" he's a fucking demon. I am curious to know, however, how was he raised? What was his childhood like? Not to find excuses, just curious.


By anonymous at 12,Apr,10 23:20

It's too bad some ppl get turned on by children. It's just how it is for them and they can't stop thinking about it. It's like drugs and gambling or being gay or straight. That's just how they are. It's sick and not right but that's how they are. Well, hard to say since I'm not u, but that police country is fucked up for not doing anything when u told them. I agree w the other guy that ur mom was a cunt for letting this go on. But I'm sure it made her uneasy and for reasons she wanted to hide it, brush it under the rug, run away, not deal w it, didn't k ow how to deal w it, was shameful, afraid about it, who knows. I wasn't really abused that bad from her stupid bf; he french kissed me and licked my ear and neck on some occasions, thank God I was never home alone w him. I told my cunt mother and she didn't believe me. I hope that bf of hers lives a miserable and dies a lonely death, but that wouldn't do anybody any good anyway even if he did live a miserable life. I wouldve murdered your dad long ago. Or drugged him till he died or beat the shit out of him and cried defense in front of the judge. One pattern on these forums always surfaced: Fucked up parents. All u fucked up ppl, not emotionally, mentally, or financially stable, having bad relationships w ur partners- please do not reproduce. Adopt or don't have kids. As for the author of this story, props to u for coming thru. Sorry u didn't get any money or wife kids or forgetting this. Shit happens, life isn't fair, and nice doesn't always cut it. U still have choices for ur life and things can still be good depending on ur wise or stupid choices. But u can change after u make dumb choices to. Just let good ppl in ur life. I get rid of the fuckers in my life. Just stick to ppl who got ur back. Good luck.


By anonymous at 12,Apr,10 23:22

And sometimes be good to some nasty ppl but don't sacrafice urself for it. They might learn some good from u.


By anonymous at 11,Jan,11 22:02

I don't know shit about your situation, but you have to forgive your sisters eventually in order to really overcome. People who are sexually abused have all types of issues, sometimes kids even mistake incest for love and don't want to betray their loved ones, etc. Some people are just selfish bitches, though, and you should forgive them anyway because you're stronger than they are and will live a better life in the end.


By anonymous at 11,Mar,11 02:59

i am a father who has not seen my kids in 3 years because the mother is a evil woman she has kept me from seeing my kids for years back and fort games in and out of court with childsupport the attorny general does not care if ive seen my kids or not there really is no justic even for fathers who want to be in there kids life and i cant because the mother keeps finding ways to have me locked up because im behind on childsupport my daughter is now 18 and i havent talk to her sence she was 16 the mother and her girlfriend keep them away my son turned 17 today i cant even call him and tell him i love him and happybirthday i have had emtyness im my life with out them but what can you do when thay have a mother who her owen kids away from the father just to keep the girlfriend im hopeing that one day i see my kids one day its hard to belive that my mother i love so much would nver keep us away from our father my dad is gone now for 3 years and she dident let my kids go to my dad funeral life is so hard now and i pray one day to see my kids again this mother that my kids have has took the one thing that ever made me happy and that was the love of my children and i ask why what makes mthers like that take away that kind of love that a father has with his kids god help me for what ihave lost and my time with my kids but god please help these mother who play game with kids lives


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